charlie and rory's food blog

Thoughts on Tunisian cuisine, or, a review of Adam's Cafe, Shepherd's Bush..

2010-04-23T17:15:00.059+01:00

Last week I had an intriguing though whilst watching a Michael Palin documentary on Tunisia; he proclaims that it's the only Islamic country in which there's no compulsory fasting during Ramadan. Seems to me, (admittedly after only one Tunisian culinary experience), that this decision probably has little to do with secularist tendencies and much more to do with the fact that their food is basically just really very tasty...

Anyhow, first things first, before we get too deep into this review I should declare a conflict of interest. The owner's daughter is a friend and I did eat here for free. In many ways this write-up could be seen as pay back (i did promise to review it; clearly advocacy from a blog with this kind of readership is a major table filler..) and it would be somewhat ungrateful to slate it. But luckily for you, unlike Geoff Hoon and other Labour Party cronies, this reviewer cannot be hired like a London taxicab. There shall be no aggrandisment.

So let's begin. For a starter i managed to order something akin to a Velociraptor's comb. Behaving like the stupidest Englishman in an ethnic (that word itself fittingly being the stupidest word for 'foreign') restuarant I asked for "the most Tunisian thing on the menu please?" and swiftly one of the stars of Jurrasic Park's baby brother showed up. The menu describes it as a "fan of fried filo pastry with egg and herbs" and it's shown in the picture below.

Known to everyone but Steven Spielberg as a 'Brik a l'oeuf' I've decided after subsequent rumination that this dish is a great concept. The runny, rich, warm egg complements the fried crispiness of the filo excellently. It amounts to a much more refined version of our eggs and fried bread breakfast.. Interestingly Adam's Cafe doubles up as a traditional Brit style "local caf" during the day, so perhaps this is where inspiration came from?

When main course came round my choices were slightly limited sadly, as they usually are. At the moment I'm still pursuing a mistaken semi-Vegetarian phase and so am trying to avoid meat unless the animal's been given a candlelight pigsty, it's own crockery set or similar. This lead to me missing out on all sorts of amazing sounding main courses like Gargoulette Tunisienne (a spicy lamb tagine) and a plethora of kebab choices.

Instead I tipped my hat to the Berbers and opted for a 'Tagine Berber Aux Lentilles'. It was a fantastic musky, legume-y, spinach stew served with a gigantic mound of cous-cous. The stew reeked of the desert and summoned up just the right kinds of images of sun's setting over Roman ruins and lutes and other such Maghreb-y things. As did the whole room infact - the walls are all kitted out with street maps and other Tunisian goodies so it really is a little slice of the Sahara. The meal finished up with freshly minted tea and earthy coffee in dinky cups.

The prices were even decent as well (especially considering the admire-ably genorous portions); I can't actually remember 'specifically as i went ages ago (and wasn't paying!), but I do remember thinking to myself 'wow, that's pretty reasonable'. All in all, highly recommended.

Comment Is Free: Food Miles – What a load of b*****ks! by Jim Crowder

2010-03-09T20:59:00.012Z

Charlie and Rory's Food Blog has now thrown the floodgates open to our hordes of followers, letting them bring their ruminations on all matters food to the verbal table, (ba-dum-tshish). Here Jim Crowder offers a fresh and interesting new perspective on the media cliche of 'food miles'..

Way back in the dim and distant, I was employed as an environmental analyst in the energy industry. This meant I spent my time calculating the environmental impact of various projects and options for generating energy for the UK. During the 1979 general election, I had the dubious pleasure to meet the chairman of the Ecology Party, the predecessor to the Green Party. He had little comprehension of the idea of environmental impact assessments, and suggested that gut feeling was more important than rigorous analysis in these matters. Therefore he was in favour of expansion of coal power because he felt comfortable with it. When I raised the issue of pollution he wasn't impressed because as far as he was concerned we had been burning coal for a long time and there was plenty left!

The reason I bring this up is to illustrate that a narrow view of issues can often lead to startlingly wrong conclusions. A few years later, awareness of fossil fuel pollution grew (acid rain and CO2), and we started to plan our future. I see the same narrow mindedness in the idea of food miles. This is an idea that has developed out of localism (which requires a whole different article) and has no real relevance to any kind of environmental impact.

Let me put it this way. A 40 tonne lorry will burn a gallon of fuel every 8 miles or so, a 1 tonne van will burn a gallon every 30 miles or so. So, at the average farmers' market a stallholder might come 15 miles and sell say 100kg of produce, then they have used 10 gallons per tonne of food (not counting the tractor usage and fertiliser and everything else). A lorry delivering to your local Asda will be fully loaded and deliver say 30 tonnes on a 60 mile trip. This is 0.5 gallons per tonne, a significant difference.

Aha, I hear you say. What about getting the food to the depot to start with? Well, again it is managed in large quantities (I now work in the food industry so have first hand experience), this leads to similar efficiencies, so you've got to work very hard to use up that extra fuel. Anyhow, supermarkets make their profits out of economies of scale.

The final clincher is you, the customer. How far do you drive to your farmers' market in addition to your weekly trip to the supermarket? How much do you buy, and how fuel efficient is your car?

Seychellian Chili Scone Recipe

2010-02-13T21:06:00.011Z

Much like Icarus flying so close to the sun that his wax and feather wings melted right off, some things have to be taken to extremes. One of these things is vegetable cake.

Now I've tried Parsnip cake, I've tried Chocolate Sauerkraut cake and I've tried courgette cake. They were all nice, but something seemed lacking. It took me some time to realise what; but when i did it was a realisation of Newtonian proportions. I posed myself the question, which vegetable would you put in a dish to take it to it's utmost denouement? A chili pepper of course.

Just before Christmas I was round my mate Paul's house and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try our hands at rustling up some chili cakes - his mum's from Seychelles where apparently they bat no eyelid at the thought of putting chili in a cake.

After a quick google trawl for a recipe and a trip to the shops we were ready to go -

Ingredients

300 grams of dhall

3 chilies

A handful of chopped coriander

Half a teaspoon of cumin powder

A couple of spring onions (cut up)

A pinch of salt

You're supposed to wash the dhall overnight but we only had time for an hour (maybe this is where it all went wrong..).
Then you blend the dhall, add all the other ingredients, mould into balls and deep fry. (Sadly we had no real option to deep fry so we baked instead.)

(please don't use laundry juice as an ingredient)

Unfortunately our Chili cakes ended up a bit wrong. In my head I'd pictured the Indian Ocean equivalent of the cheese scone. In reality i got a bland onion bhagee a like. Rubbish.

Colalife - 'I'd like to buy the world... some oral re-hydration salts?'

2010-02-11T19:33:00.010Z

My main problem with global travel nowadays is that no one place is that different from another. You can buy a Big Mac in Phnom Penh, shop Ikea in Hong Kong and buy a Gillette razor in Malawi. You can buy Coca-Cola, the sworn enemy of all Student Unions, almost anywhere.

Fortunately, Simon, an aid worker who's spent years working in Zambia, a place where child mortality is sky high 'cause of lack of such simple products as anti-malarials or oral re-hydration salts, has a genius solution to connect these two problems. Harness the insanely prolific Coca-Cola's prolific distribution machine to deliver 'pods' of these medications to every far-flung places you can imagine. Read all about it at his blog.

And talking of famously ill tempered British Prime Ministers and food...

2010-02-09T20:46:00.004Z

Sources inform us Gordon Brown has recently switched from a four kit-kat a day habit to 9 bannanas!

Chinese Food Reconnaissance Part Three

2010-02-03T10:49:00.037Z

To paraphrase Steve Martin, Litang is the kind of town where they spell trouble T-R-U-B-I-L, and if you try to correct that the overwhelmingly unnecessary numbers of Chinese military posted there probably kill you. Likely to be a brutal death too.

In the past the town has been the site of numerous armed resistances against Chinese rule; Litang being one of the most important Tibetan towns going, which explains the ridiculous-for-a-place-of-its-size military barracks on the outskirts. Even better, unlike in holy Lhasa, which is full of migrants, you're also pretty unlikely to meet any Han Chinese round these parts; everyone apart from army types seems to be old, wrinkled Tibetan women or cowboy alike men on motorbikes or kids with runny noses (all Tibetan kids seem to have runny noses). It's like stepping back three hundred years and into the wild west.

Surprisingly for all the repression and the altitude, Tibetan food is fantastic. Very few crops grow comfortably at this kind of height (Litang is 4,014 meters above sea level) so barley, yak and potatoes seem to be pretty much the main staples, and boy do the Tibetans like their yak. Yak yogurt, yak stew, yak dumplings, yak milk, yak butter tea (eurgh), yak fois gras and yak studded muesli are all probably regular features at the Tibetan dinner table.

Sadly I didn't eat that much food while i was on the Tibetan plateau but what i did have was great. They do a bloody good noodle soup with lots of vegetables and even more yak; much stodgier and more filling than the average Chinese fare. And apparently an ear stew (see picture below), though thankfully i didn't find any ear in mine.

Following Tibet we embarked on a perilous journey to the next province to the West; my main memories of this drive being bad Tibetan dance music (main lyrics, in accented English, "I'm tired of this bullshit"), very steep cliffs and sincerely sketchy driving. Got there in the end though.

Our first stop in Yunnan was Kunming, the regional capital and a lovely place. Compare it to most cities and it's the Chinese version of the garden of Eden. Tree lined streets, a quite nice (not baking hot) climate, easy enough to get around and not all the pushing and shoving common elsewhere - for China it's positively relaxed.

Weirdly for a country so famous for its tea, those Yunnaners (is that right? Yunnanese?) are big on coffee. In my hostel a guru-slash-English teacher (who was an all likelihood a German too, so already a difficult man to trust), informed me that the province's coffee would change my life. He didn't say this in a joke, ahaha, sort of way either, but in a very serious way, like a man reading the news or a politician making pledges. Once I'd hunted my cup down I was quite disappointed not to have had my life changed.

After my 'miracle' coffee we then journeyed on to Heijing, an ancient salt capital nestled down to the West of Kunming. As beginnings go this leg of the trip was absolutely stunning, cutting right through rural China and passing through paddy fields which are still obviously a big deal here. An area where it's still okay to wear a blue Mao cap and where maybe things haven't yet changed quite the way they have in China's big cities. It was nice. Once there we stayed at an old salt baron's house which was very swish. He'd got knocked off in the cultural revolution i think, for being a capitalist-salt-selling-pig-dog. Now his old pad is a guesthouse. Is that irony?

One of the main reasons we'd made it to Heijing was 'cause as well as being big on salt mining, they were big on salt cooking and sources had informed us that awesome salt cooked chicken was to be had here. We only had one meal here, and the chicken was salty but not quite amazing. Balls up. Probably went to the wrong place to eat it though.

Back in Kunming there was only one other meal i needed to try to fulfill this blog's reconnaissance mission. Crossing The Bridge Noodles is apparently Yunnan's most famous dish and so named for a scholar who worked in the middle of a lake. By the time his woman had managed to bring him his nightly noodle soup dinner it had gone cold; subsequently she had the bright idea to adding a layer of chicken fat to keep the heat in.

You can get the noodles at a chain place that seems to be everywhere in Kunming; I can't remember it's name but you can figure out the place cause each branch has two three foot plastic models of chefs looking like real goofs outside. They serve their noodles hot pot style with plates of stuff like peanuts or meat to slop in. It's definitely value for money with big old bowls of piping hot soup and unlike lots of food in China, it's fresh tasting too which is nice.

And this brings us to the end of my assignment uncovering the mysteries of Chinese cuisine. I've learnt much about this ancient, newly thriving culture - primarily the fact that we've been ripping them off for centuries, and on that subject i still haven't even touched on tea either. Robert Fortune on a similar mission to mine, but way back, traveled covertly to China to collect tea seeds and tea plants to be grown in British India. This was so we didn't have to rely on their exports and was purely in retaliation for the Chinese deciding to grow their own opium and stopping buying ours. In smashing their monopoly, we unwittingly set ourselves up to be the nation of tea lovers we are today.

Whatever. My main conclusion is that Chinese food is the best and most versatile kind of food ever invented. We stole everything from them; tea to tagliatelle. And now they're drinking mares milk wine and eating ears (apparently) and duck tongue. You read the future of Western food here first...

Sunny Side Up? An insight into Maggie Thatcher's diet..

2010-02-02T18:07:00.011Z

New papers recently uploaded on the internet reveal Margaret Thatcher, Tory leader extraordinaire, was on a serious egg bender prior to her '79 general election victory. Apparently she was knocking back 28 eggs a week, and on Thursdays was eating the yellow eyes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. On days when she ate meat Thatcher allowed herself a chaser of whisky.

Interestingly, referring to herself in the third person in a famous speech, Thatcher claimed 'the lady's not for turning'. Crucially this very statement could be the perfect explanation for her famed icy temperament. Dubbed the Iron Lady, wouldn't you be slightly cheesed of if you'd been having your omelets burnt on one side and runny on the other for weeks on end?

Interview with MSF Sierra Leone project co-ordinator Sweet C,

2010-01-15T11:23:00.034Z

To begin 2010 our foodblogs got quite a coup - an interview with Sweet C (yes that is her real name and isn't it great?), a Filipino doctor in her early 30s working for MSF in the Gondoma referral centre, Sierra Leone. The Gondoma centre offers inpatient services for women and children, and, relevant to this blog, houses a therapeutic feeding centre.

Malnutrition rates in Sierra Leone are among the highest in the world, and solving this problem has been said to be one of the most neglected areas in Sierra Leone's post-conflict recovery. Such simple and easily solve-able problems as Iodine deficiency may cause over 252,000 Sierra Leonean children to be born with varying degrees of mental retardation over the next five years. Work by charities such as MSF is crucial in bringing down Sierra Leone's sky-high infant mortality rates.

I've done a bit of reading on the subject, and it's claimed that simply sustained investment in nutrition in Sierra Leone could bring about gigantic human and economic benefits in developing the social sector, revitalising Sierra Leone's economy, and attain the poverty reduction goals that have previously been set forth.

Sweet C grew up and studied in the Phillipines as a doctor and is a family medicine specialist. She's very interested in community medicine and public health and has been involved extensively with local NGOs back home. Currently she's the project coordinator for MSF in Bo, Sierra Leone and has been working there for coming up to five years. What follows is an interview we conducted with her by email...

Could you talk me through a typical day for you at the Gondama referral centre?

My typical day starts with the morning endorsements with the CHOs (Clinical Health Officers) and expats (MSF volunteers). After that, I make some announcements and go back to my office where I mostly sign off papers such as food requests, operational advances, leave forms, daily worker payments, etc. Then I go around each ward, talk to the staff and ask for daily statistics and problems in each ward.

Then I go back to my office, which is open to anybody who has questions. I work on writing reports, analysing statistics, looking at our consumptions and making phone calls. On special days I may have meetings with expats or team leaders or the management team. Somedays I do ward rounds to discuss difficult cases and there are also special days for training CHOs on relevant topics.

How did you end up working with MSF? And specifically in Sierra Leone?

I have always liked working in communities and going to far flung areas; doing medical missions or immersions with the local NGO I was involved with (in the Philippines). When I learned about MSF, it was like a door being opened to see the opportunities of working in a different context, to learn from the organization, from other people, to find out what I could contribute as well...

That’s why after my residency training, I decided to pursue a road less travelled by most Filipino doctors. (FYI: Most Filipino doctors go to US/Canada/Australia to look for greener pastures). Sierra Leone was the first mission proposed to me. I only knew of it being the source of conflict diamonds which caused the civil war making it the poorest country in the world. Some people said, 'your country is already poor, why should you leave it and work in another poor country?' Then I realized that working for another poor country doesn’t mean I cannot do anything…Since, I have learned to better appreciate the simple things in life and that there is something I could contribute, however little it may seem to other people.

What's the local food like?

The staple food of most Sierra Leoneans is rice and it's eaten twice a day in most households together with cassava or potato leaves with palm oil. Sometimes it is mixed with fish or meat or beans. In MSF houses, we eat rice or potato with chicken curry or meat in groundnut soup, sometimes we also have pizza! :-)

How would you identify and how would you care for a child suffering from malnutrition?

You can identify if a child is malnourished by bilateral pitting oedema on both feet or if the weight for height ratio is below the standards set. Malnourished children are given special therapeutic food and milk; things like F75, F100 and Plumpy Nut.

How much difference has Plumpy'nut made in treating malnutrition?

When Plumpy Nut was introduced, it made management of malnutrition a lot easier, especially logistically. Before its introduction, most malnourished children were given supplementary food which was given either as wet or dry rations… meaning a lot of resources were needed. Plumpy Nut has reduced significantly the logistic constraints in treating malnutrition in emergencies and made it much faster and more effective.

How has malnutrition affected Sierra Leone? What's the current situation like?

Malnutrition in Sierra Leone is more of a socio-economic problem coupled with lack of education aggravated by wrong beliefs; rather than just mere lack of food. Moreover, a lot of children become malnourished because of diseases, and the health-seeking behaviour of people is poor. They come to the health facilities only when the traditional treatment does not work.

The recently concluded nutritional survey in November 2009 done by MSF in Bo and Pujehun districts showed that 48.2% of children had chronic malnutrition. At the Gondama Referral Centre, the number of malnourished children comprise more than 20% of the total admissions. MSF is working in the Bo and Pujehun districts but only 28% of our Therapeutic Feeding Centre admissions are from the target population; the rest are coming from outside our catchment areas. This indicates that there is clearly a lack of access to health care in other areas.

What do you think of Sierra Leone's long term prospects in curbing the malnutrition problem?

I think the main cause of malnutrition among children in Sierra Leone are macro-economic factors that MSF cannot directly influence, although we can lobby the government and other organizations. MSF can continue to treat malnourished children in our catchment areas but some other actors need to intervene in other areas. We are not a development organization and we cannot stay forever in this country.

Moreover, this country needs a strong agrarian reform program to improve their food production. It’s such a pity that this country with vast land of fertile soil has no irrigation system, no machinery to plough the soil, no support to farmers in terms of fertilizers, seed crops and education on farming. Treating malnutrition will not end the problem if the root cause is not solved.

Photo by Emily Linendoll

Public donations to MSF are crucial to maintaining their ideology and allows them to respond to medical needs unhindered by concessions to government or media interests. Please click here to donate.

Land Leasing, Again..

2010-01-15T11:16:00.002Z

I'm not sure I'm wholly convinced myself but there's an interesting article in the Guardian today on agricultural land leasing in Ethiopia. They're quite in favour.

Interview with Geordie marathon champion Matthew Armstrong

2010-01-09T17:12:00.007Z

Here we present to you discourse with Geordie marathon champion and medical student Matthew Armstrong. Matt, although in his early 40s, still runs regularly for the Coventry Godiva running club and sometimes comes second in races. Rarely seen without a Newcastle Brown Ale in his hand we wondered if this was the secret to his success; we were intrigued to know how big a part his diet plays in his lofty achievements in peregrination.

Hi Matt, good to see you. How's everything going?

It's going mint yeah. Just been keeping up the running over Christmas and slipping back into my training schedule nicely.

Good, good. Okay let's start off with an easy question. What''s your signature dish? Something you'd cook to impress a lady perhaps?

Easy! Well I call it Alan Shearer's Bald Patch, but that's my name for it. It's quite similar to Spaghetti Bolognese, but involves a bottle of The 'Dog' [Newcastle Brown Ale for our southern readers], Dolmio pasta sauce, mushrooms, peppers and lots of pasta and beef mince all cooked up together. Bloody champion as well.

I tried it with lamb mince last night and called the dish Kevin Keegan's Kurls but it smelt a bit like a donner kebab. Not as good.

Cool! Where do you stand on the whole body is a temple idea? Do you consciously think a lot about your diet?

Not so much no. Within reason i guess. Mostly when I'm deciding what to eat, I try to think what would Keegan do here and that usually doesn't mean ordering the salad, you know what i mean?

Course. And what do you do diet-wise on race day?

Well beforehand I might possibly have a chocolate bar to keep my energy levels up. Then during the race maybe a bit of lucozade; plenty of that for the sugar rush. And lots of water.

Okay. Whilst we know you like a bottle or two of The 'Dog', how much of a lid do you try and keep on your boozing when racing season's on?

Y'Aye man. Well mostly I try and avoid it. It's bad stuff, makes you hungover and training when hungover's horrible. Stay away really.

Right. We also hear you're quite a prodigious eater. Talk us through a typical Armstrong day..

Well for breakfast I'll usually have a mixed grill. Maybe a bowl or two of Golden Graham's and four slices of toast maybe. If there's any of Alan Shearer's Bald Patch left over from last night I might microwave and eat that too. That and two bowls of porridge.

For lunch i like a Crocodile steak sandwich. Lean but full of protein. The perfect runner's food. I'll have that most days. Following that maybe a round of cheese sandwiches too. Fruit and a chocolate bar too if I'm still a bit peckish.

For dinner, obviously Alan Shearer's Bald Patch, have that most every day. Sometimes I swap rice for pasta if I'm a bit bored. I get through a kilo pack of pasta every two days which used to be really frustrating, always having to go to the supermarket, but recently I've given up my Adidas sponsorship deal and signed with Panzani Pasta. They deliver it to my door in massive packs. Champion deal and far more useful than all those running shoes!

Nice going! Thanks for your time Matthew...

China eating/travel diary part two. Chinglish.

2009-12-22T21:08:00.033Z

Sometimes in China the bizarre translations get too much and you collapse into a fit of snorting clammed up laughter. Then you make stupid jokes about it for the next 3 days with your travel companion.

So it was with the 'Tuckahoe pie' Was it smut? Or our dirty minds corrupting an innocent Chinglish mistake? Who's to say? Sadly the 'Tuckahoe' didn't really live up to its controversial name, and was just a rubbish synthetic-y sweet. That innuendo did, however, provide enough mirth to see us through an all night train journey that probably could've seemed a whole lot worse otherwise.

Chinese train journeys, if you ever end up on the hard seats, are pretty much Gehenna on wheels, rammed full of people, saliva and smoke everywhere, and probably no sleep and maybe a few screaming babies on top of that if you're lucky. Obviously everyone needs to get somewhere, and there are lot of people in China, and probably not many trains, we shouldn't complain. Buy the ticket, take the ride. Literally.

Incidentally, we were headed to Taiyuan, one of China's heavy industry cities, and one of the most polluted built up areas in the world. There wasn't much of a brightside to our journey.

A lot of people who've been traveling round China are heard to grumble on return 'but the food was actually rubbish, much better at my local takeaway'. Now that's definitely not true, but we can easily see how you could get bogged down eating nasty, greasy sweet'n'sour pork or fried rice for every meal. We ate that stuff a lot too, mainly because all the menus are in Chinese characters outside very touristy areas. Luckily in Taiyuan we had a local friend. Either that or praps Taiyuan is the fine dining capital of the middle country, who knows?

Whatever the reason, both meal's eaten in Taiyuan were amazing. Basically everything you'd want Chinese food to be. Deep fried potatoes & been sprouts, charred charcoaled up aubergines and seriously awesome fresh noodles. Apparently Marco Polo stole the concept of noodles all the way home to Italy and called it tagliatelle.

The second meal in Taiyuan was at a place that specialises in dumplings and that was even better - there were some fried up tempura style mushrooms with chilli dipping sauce, (like Marco Polo, apparently the Japs stole this one), also chili and chicken spicy (very) soup and about 3 different types of dumpling including amazing egg and spring onion ones. Without a doubt the two best meals of the trip so far. Good eating!

Our reconnaissance mission then ended up in Xi'an, one of China's ancient capitals. Everything there has more of an Arab slant than the rest of China; this is 'cause ages ago lots of Arabs used to trade here, they fooled around with some local girls, got them pregnant and hundreds of years later their descendants now get called the Hui people.

Most cool of all to a western food starved stomach is the fact that they make Chinese hamburgers in Xi'an. For about 30p you get a awesomely unctuous scraping of chicken, leaves and chilli sauce in a bun. So good! Sadly, no one tried to explain to me how China invented the burger too..

Apart from all this I'm not sure what I've learnt about Chinese food so far, that they like a hamburger as much as anyone else? That people have been stealing their culinary inventions left, right and centre for centuries?

More importantly than all this hot air though, Liu Xiaobo, a prominent Chinese human right's activist was jailed for 11 years yesterday. He was found guilty of subversion, a pretty vaguely defined notion, that basically let's the Communist Party of China imprison who they like. Mainly anyone who criticises them a bit too loudly.

Liu Xiaobo is most widely known for founding the Charter 08 campaign, a manifesto signed by 300 leading Chinese bods to demand political reform and democratisation in China.

I've got no idea if these things help at all, but it's worth a try, so click here for an online petition to free Liu Xiaobo.

Courgette Cake Recipe

2009-12-18T16:37:00.017Z

What is cake?

Much academic discourse centers around cake's shape, decoration and it's unusual presence at ceremonial events, but its precise definition still remains elusive. Clear examples between a bread and a cake are so easy to mention that any fool can, yet could you look me in the eye and tell me that banana bread is not cake? I would hope not.

The moniker cake has also been employed for such varied uses as a rock band and a fictional drug in the satirical spoof documentary series Brass Eye, thus further adding confusion.

Here we present to you another blurring of the cake and bread lines; a courgette cake.

Recipe

1. Oil a loaf pan and preheat yer oven to 170^oC.

2. Mix up 3 eggs, sugar (1 and a quarter cups), olive oil (half a cup), yogurt (half a cup), Cocoa (half a cup) and vanilla (a teaspoon).

3. Fold in 2 grated courgettes.

4. In another bowl mix 3 cups of wholegrain flour, 1 teaspoon of bicarbonate, some seeds, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, a quarter of a teaspoon of baking powder.

5. Mix everything together and slap in the loaf pan.

6. Bake for an hour.

(notice no icing, is it this very fact that makes it courgette bread?)

For those looking for a reference point think banana bread; without the banana's and with a slight chocolate tang. If you share an interest in gender confused (or some would say bread-curious) cakes stay tuned for an upcoming chili cake recipe!

Feeding the 5000

2009-12-10T21:50:00.008Z

Food waste annoys me. A lot. I briefly temped in a high profile organic yogurt companies factory last year and was dismayed at how much perfectly edible stuff was just chucked out. This problem is a global one, and to prove it we'll throw two brief facts at you; firstly, that UK households waste 25% of all the food they buy and secondly, that ten percent of rich countries greenhouse gas emissions come from growing food that is never eaten.

Fortunately taking place this Wednesday in Trafalgar Square is an event designed to highlight this very problem. A free lunch made from ingredients that would otherwise have been wasted will be prepared for 5000 people. The event has been organised in conjunction with charities such as Save the Children and Act!onaid. Click here if you fancy perusing some more info.

On a similar note check back soon for a coupla articles on foraging and an attempt at freeganism.

A Curry for Curry Week

2009-11-29T17:39:00.026Z

Last week, as some of you may know, was national curry week. National Curry Week is, in its essence, a two pronged attack; designed to both promote the cuisine and culture of India and to raise money for the less advantaged around the world. What makes this year's national curry week extra special is that it's the two hundredth anniversary of the opening of Britain's first Indian restaurant, by Sake Dean Mahomed; he named his joint Hindoostanee Coffee House.

Clearly we had to celebrate this most auspicious of occasions; it's right there below Remembrance Sunday and Guy Fawkes as the third best special time cycle in November in our books (we decidedly prefer it to world toilet day and anti-bullying week, also both in November..). So, in order to commemorate this special week we invited a bunch of friends round and and cooked two different curries - one of these curries was supposed to be spicy and one wasn't in order to cater to all tastes.

As a stupid white male I obviously felt a need to make the spicy one very hot. I put two chillis into the cooking and a second chilli was cut up for garnish, alongside plentiful vindaloo curry paste and extra chilli powder. Weirdly it ended up virtually identical to the supposedly non-spicy curry. Rubbish to that i say.

Anyhow, here's how we knocked up the spicy one...

1. Firstly soften some garlic in olive oil, then add a well chopped onion. Saute.

2. Add mushrooms, carrots, cauliflower and swede (already softened up a by a spot of steaming in the microwave) to the mix and fry for quite a while; ten minutes or so.

3. Add some vindaloo paste and fry it all up for a bit longer.

4. Add two cups of hot water, a tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce and some tomato puree.

5. Put a lid on the pan and let it simmer away for approx half an hour, adding water or tomato puree depending on if it looks too watery or too thick.

If you'd like to donate to The Curry Tree charitable fund (the main driving force behind curry week), then click here. The Curry Tree distributes what riches it gets to worthwhile charities doing crucial work for the malnourished, starving and poor (charities like Oxfam and Action Against Hunger). You even get posted a free curry recipe book if you donate too...

Two Decent Articles on World Food Production and One I Wrote For University Ages Ago...

2009-11-26T15:50:00.005Z

Thankfully everyone's stopped worrying quite so much about the West's financial crisis and attention seems to be turning back to the BIG problem we seem to have feeding the world's population. The economist has had two awesome articles up on their website this week; one titled 'If words were food, nobody would go hungry' and another debating whether Monsanto is a corporate sinner or saint.

We thought we'd throw in our two cents worth with an old uni essay on why GM agriculture shouldn't be ignored...

Experiments in Vegetarianism

2009-11-15T16:53:00.035Z

If I had to sum up my dietary habits I think I'd like to be designated a 'lazy meat eater'. I generally try to stick to a vegetarian regime, but i like meat a lot too, so quite often I'll eat animal. In an attempt to justify what in all probability is quite a flaky ethical stance I do make an effort to ensure the beast in question's at least had a decent life.

Much like Kobe beef needs a daily massage, I would for instance, if the animal in question were a chicken, require at least a semi-detached coop, a limitless diet of African Nightcrawler Worms and a four-part course of counseling to help the poor fowl accept the inevitable. So, in the interests of this blog, my wallet, and my conscience, I decided to investigate what, if anything, could make a respectable meat substitute.

My first port of call were Quorn sausages. Lincolnshire Quorn sausages to be precise, although I'm not sure if many Lincolnshire butchers would be very accepting of these lumpen excuses for bangers. I grilled them and had them with some greens; but sadly they tasted very plain, a bit like a rubbish mushroom (as you would expect, it being mycoprotein and all) and nothing like a real Lincolnshire sausage. My first let down.

I had a bit of a breakthrough next with some fake Scotch Eggs though. I'd just finished a mammoth cycle from University to my house and was bloody hungry, so stopped at Sainsbury's on the way home to pick up some groceries. Before I was even out the shop door I sampled the eggs and was pleasantly surprised and slightly satiated (they're quite small). I'm not sure if they don't even taste better than the real thing, and definitely less greasy which is a decided plus; tasty stuff!

Later on in the week a quorn steak was perhaps the most disappointing exercise in vegetarianism of the whole experiment. The principle letdown factor was that I bought two steaks in a quite sizable pack; my main line of thought was, 'well, even if it doesn't taste good, at least there's a lot of it'. Turns out the steak only took up half the pack. I'm not sure of the logic of that (unless it's to hoodwink us, the poor downtrodden consumers). It's especially bad when you consider all these environmental types warning us off meat consumption and whatnot. You'd hope Quorn, the alleged sensible alternative, would be setting a good example and not including lots of excess packaging. Anyhow the steak, like the sausages was as plain as a mouthful of the Sahara.

The only real triumph of my dabbling in vegetarianism was the discovery of Quinoa (pronounced Keen-wah apparently, I'm not sure why). Personally, I like cous-cous a lot, but i have one big problem with it; and that's the fact that it's just semolina shaped into a grain like shape. A blatant fraud basically. Quinoa, however, tastes just like cous-cous but actually is a grain. It also, unlike many grains, contains a balanced set of most of the essential amino acids you'd want to make the proteins your body needs, making it an ideal component of many vegi meals. The pre-history Native Americans hanging around the Andes were big fans apparently and that's a good enough recommendation for me.

In general though, even after all this dabbling (and this is sad news for british livestock everywhere) I'm still unfortunately of the opinion that most fake meat products on the market are fairly bollocks. What my problem all boils down to, really, is that I'm a traditional man, and I like things to be as they appear. I'm pretty sure I can now safely say I'll pass on each and every variety of fungus dressed up as meat, in contrast i would, however, pay good money for one of my old housemates spicy bean-burgers...

Yum. Animal. (A Mongolian roast goat). See last week's post...

Chinese Food Reconnaissance, Part One.

2009-11-09T17:51:00.069Z

Charlie and Rory's Food has recently been informed that Britain's prime takeaway choice has controversially switched over from ex-crown colony India's to China's. Intrigued we sent a correspondent on a fact-finding mission to the motherland of this tantalising chow. Our intrepid journalist criss-crossed throughout the entire, vast swathes of land occupied by this great, ancient civilisation - not in search of the perfect sweet & sour pork dish, but the very heart and soul of Chinese cuisine.

Touching down in Beijing and despairing of the crappy (and a bit expensive) tourist trap restaurants crowding our hostel's vicinity (a favourite was one with a big billboard outside offering "Nice Food. Nice Price", the price's weren't cheap, but we never found out about the food) we immediately ventured further afield.

Luckily we didn't have far to go. Wandering down a local Hutong (Mandarin for alley..) we stumbled upon an innovation in dining; one jolly Chinese lady offering pick'n'mix stew in her front room. For 3RMB or about 30p you could choose a bunch of ingredients such as bamboo, fish balls, dog treats and Chinese cabbage and then have it all knocked up into a spicy peanut-y stew. Maybe this'll catch on in Britain?

Our second meal of note was the obligatory Peking duck. Now, I'm not really sure if its possible to make crispy duck, pancakes and Hoisin sauce taste bad. Anything that crispy, fatty and sweet is as much of a shoe-in for deliciousness as a pickled pigs trotter isn't. So, already the benchmark was fairly high. Sadly our bona fide Peking duck didn't live up to the hype. It wasn't really any better than anything you can buy at a supermarket in Britain and roast yourself; quite disappointing!

Following a quick relocation we found ourselves in Inner Mongolia. Regaled with tales of mare's milk wine, hot pot boiled up in soldier's helmets and yak butter tea, all from readings of Marco Polo's memoirs, expectations were high.

Almost as soon as we got to dusty, run-down regional capital Hohhot we decided to make tracks on to the flabbergasting hectare upon hectare of nothingness, dubbed the 'grasslands'. We went there to watch 'Nadaam', a festival dedicated to the three manly sports of horse-riding, archery and wrestling.

Immediately on arriving the massive popularity of 'meat on a stick' became apparent (we thought the concept might just be a 'Beijing thing'). In the snack shop near the venue were absolutely tons of shrink wrapped meat parcels, all tastefully skewered, and horrible tasting. In an effort to ingratiate myself with new friends I found an abandoned barbecue and set up shop, using my terrible Mandarin to pass on my wares. If my medicine degree falls through I now at least know I'm perfectly capable of opening a moderately successful kebab joint in China..

Aside from this adventure in genorosity and altruism, we managed to bag an invitation to a corporate feast and booze up with the Inner Mongolian police force. Sergeant Wong, who somewhat worryingly illustrated his job by miming gunfire, noticed a couple of nervous and scrawny looking gweilos (foreigner or ghost people, in, i think, Cantonese) and sorted us out with a pity invite.

And we were happy. And hungry. And we ate so heartily that we were almost embarrassed. Whilst everyone else picked at the food like spoonbills on a barren beach, but seemed far more keen on declaring toasts of bajiao, (a fairly opprobrious clear rice liquor), we were there vigorously stuffing our faces.

At one point they brought out a whole roasted goat and had a nice little ritual involving the first cut, but pretty soon everyone just got back to knocking back the fiery booze. The actual food was phenomenal though - mellow roast goat (including the guts and liver and everything), cheese-meaty-croutons, numerous stir-fried vegetable dishes and lots of other stuff too.

Later on i attempt to munch on some leaves arranged as a garnish on the side of one plate of food. My hand was quickly slapped and i was told; "those aren't supposed to be eaten!!". 'Perhaps the Chinese attitude to salad is what makes their cuisine so beloved' i jot down in my notepad...

to be continued...

Why Plumpy'nut may be the best invention since sliced bread (even if it's brand name is grammatically incorrect...)

2009-10-29T16:48:00.074Z

Often you might've heard the axiom "that's the best invention since sliced bread". It was probably used to designate an item in question as well though out: a great idea. Rarely is the idea another food item, but recently Plumpy'nut has been receiving such exuberant accolades.

Plumpy'nut is a foil packaged peanut-based paste and it's lately proved to be about as revolutionary as the idea of planting stuff in the ground in terms of treating severe hunger.

One of the key things making it great is that to get your high-energy-high-nutrient fix all you need to do is cut the corner of the pack and swallow. Repeat this with a severely malnourished kid two to three times a day and in roughly forty days they'll be up about (hopefully). It's believed Plumpy'nut will help bring mortality due to malnutrition down by about 50%.

Normal treatments for malnutrition would be something like a cup and a half of rice and a handful of lentils or beans, all seasoned with a tablespoon of oil and salt. That would be for otherwise okay adults; for the more severely malnourished (women and children mainly) high-energy milk formulas, called F100 and F75 respectively, would be used.

The real deal breaker with Plumpy'nut though, is that it's so simple to administer, meaning treatment can take place in the home. It doesn't even need water preparation or refrigeration and as it contains no water it can't be contaminated by bacteria - even milk spoils, thus foiling the idea of stay at home milk therapy. This is crucially why Plumpy'nut is so effective. Before Plumpy'nut the ideal would be for a malnourished child to stay in a therapeutic feeding centre for up to a month, being fed every two hours with milk formulas carefully diluted and measured up to to the kids weight. Other than the sheer labour intensity, this was a bad idea because malnutrition compromises the immune system, so having a bunch of kids, all liable to develop some kind of infection, in close proximity doesn't work terrifically well at all.

It even tastes good (at 28% sugar it should..), making the youths want to come back for more.

The only slight drawback we can see to Plumpy'nut is its unfortunate apostrophe (and the fact something so simple wasn't invented sooner). Maybe it's us, but we can't for the life of ourselves figure out it's use - even if it does look cute when it's illustrated on the pack by a peanut. Or does the Plumpy own the nut?

Bad punctuation falls by the wayside, I guess, when you're faced with statistics like every five seconds a child dies because of hunger. Infact I just read that starvation kills more people than Aids, Tb and malaria combined. Sadly too, if many analysts prove to be correct instances of malnutrition are only likely to increase in the future as the world's population grows, climates change and food gets scarer.

Recipe

peanut paste

vegetable oil

milk powder

vitamins & minerals

Restaurant review; Falafel Manchester

2009-10-07T10:08:00.041+01:00

Falafel in Manchester will always have a special place in my heart. I was introduced to this superlative defying (Although I'll probably try later on anyway..) café-slash-takeaway by an ex-girlfriend who at the time i liked, in all probability, far too much. Fortunately, these days, out of the two, i can safely say I prefer Falafel.

There are many things you can order in Falafel. Pizza, Middle-Eastern salads, Chicken's stuffed to their eyeballs with rice, etc. etc. But really, there's no reason to know of any of these options. For two pounds fifty you can buy yourself probably the tastiest humus-smothered-lettucey-chickpeaball-in-pitta creation going. Anywhere.

Since it was only a short stumble over the road from my old house it's served me terrifically well over the last twelve months or so. I'd even go as far as to stay it's been a bit of a cornerstone for many key moments in my Manchester life.

Perhaps the most satisfying meal i ever ate was at Falafel, and like all memorably appetising meals it had more to do with the timing than the taste. Shortly before Christmas last year, stumbling back in the very early evening (probably about 7pm), seriously incapacitated from an afternoon spent boozing with my friend James, I decided I needed falafel. Managing to navigate the bright lights and moronic drivers of Rusholme, I made it somehow, and purchased a terrific falafel (Falafel's falafels are always terrific). It sobered me up (a necessity) and I was well and ready for celebrations later in the evening. Never did falafel taste so good.

Falafel was my dinner on the day i finished the last exam of my degree.

Falafel was probably the first meal me and that ex-girlfriend ate together.

Falafel staff have been personally rude to me whilst i was trying to get some sponsorship cash for a charity thing I did. I still advocate the place.

Falafel was even my last ever meal in Manchester. The last supper you could say. I was meeting an old, dear friend, in fact this blog's french correspondent, Morgane Billy, in town to go see some bands. Some dinner was needed, so Morgane brought falafel along. With green chilli sauce. Goodbye Manchester!

Parsnip Cake,

2009-09-30T19:00:00.027+01:00

When considering the similarities amidst the two most common root veg cakes (Carrot and Parsnsip!), clearly it is a logical jump to look to comparisons between the meeting of minds that took place between George Bush Jr and Tony Blair in the early 21st century. In this instance clearly the Carrot Cake can be seen as the Bush Jr type figure and Parnsip the Blair-ite.

Like Mr Blair, Parsnip Cake has often suffered lampooning by various types, many who regard the Carrot Cake's paler companion as weaker, less amiable and far too willing to acquiesce to the might and power of Carrot Cake. Often we have heard mutterings of 'lapdogs' as a metaphor in the relations between the two offshoots of this genre of root veg pudding...

But now, as with Tony Blair, it is Parnsip Cake's time! Ireland's just voted yes to the EU referendum thus setting up the possibilty of a Blair EU presidency and here, on a ubiquitous tastemaking food blog, is a saporous Parsnip Cake recipe for you all to try at home...

Ingredients

180g SR flour,

1 tsp bicarbonate of soda,

About 5 grated parsnips,

½ tsp caraway seed,

120g butter,

80g caster sugar,

2 eggs beaten,

Zest and juice 1 lemon

Instructions

1. Heat the over to 180C

2. Sieve together the flour, bicarbonate of soda, parsnips and Carraway seeds.

3. Cream together the butter, eggs and sugar and then stir in the flour mix.

4. Finally add the lemon zest and juice and bake for 30 - 40 minutes.

5. If you fancy some topping (it really doesn't need it..) mix up some icing sugar, butter and lemon (juice and zest!) and spread it on top.

6. If you've got them crown the cake with walnuts!

Grand!

English food - point de vue à la française.

2009-09-23T17:47:00.006+01:00

"On ne peut pas faire confiance à des gens qui ont une cuisine aussi mauvaise. (…) Après la Finlande, c'est le pays où on mange le plus mal."

Jacques Chirac. Président francais entre 1995-2007

Eh bien voilà comment entretenir de bonnes vieilles querelles de voisinage... On connaissait Chirac, grand amateur de tête de veau, on sait maintenant qu'il n'est pas un grand fan du fameux english pudding. C'est assez étrange de voir à quel point les clichés sont ancrés dans nos sociétés; les anglais sont arrogants et leur nourriture est infecte, les Français sont prétentieux et excellent dans l'art de la grève,... mais qu'en est-il vraiment? Avant de partir pour Manchester, mes amis m'ont tous annoncé à quel point je mangerai mal, à quel point les aliments sont chers et la qualité vraiment inquiétante, mais après ces quelques mois passés là-bas, je pense qu'il est temps de remettre les pendules à l'heure!! Nous autres, français, avons une passion dévorante- c'est le cas de le dire- pour la nourriture, on en oublierait même parfois le conseil de Socrate: ''il faut manger pour vivre et non pas vivre pour manger''. Donc on mange bien en France, on a connu et possède encore certains des plus grands chefs au monde; il semble cependant que le succès nous ait un peu monté à la tête: on a voulu inscrire la gastronomie française au patrimoine mondial de l'Unesco. Ridicule. Et prétentieux. De même, on est persuadé que notre nourriture est la meilleure, la plus raffinée. Mais, soyons honnêtes la nourriture de tous les jours est bien loin des plats concoctés par un Ducasse ou un Robluchon.

Et pour en revenir à l'Angleterre et à sa nourriture de pub, pour l'avoir expérimentée, je m'en porte pas plus mal. En effet, si on jette plus qu'un coup d'œil dédaigneux, on découvre des plats qui n'ont rien à envier à notre fameux bœuf bourguignon.

Les plats anglais sont généralement d'une étonnante simplicité, et c'est bien là l'avantage qu'ils présentent; en effet, il est possible de réaliser ces recettes sans pour autant un chef étoilé. Prenez par exemple, le shepherd pie- le hachis parmentier local-, pour en avoir vu faire du début à la fin, ça ne requiert pas de talent particulier... désolée...mais d'un autre côté, cela permet d'utiliser sa créativité en accommodant des plats classiques par des condiments, des nouveaux ingrédients, et ainsi les rendre en quelque sens unique.

La simplicité à l'anglaise: le shepherd pie, ou le hachis parmentier local

Ensuite, les plats anglais sont peut-être classiques, mais il est facile de bien les accompagner, et ce par les sauces. Là où les Français aimons mettre de l'huile, du beurre et de la crème, vous mettez du vinaigre, vous poussez même le vice d'en mettre directement sur les frites; ce qui au début a été un peu difficile, mais finalement on s'en accommode très bien, tant bien même que j'ai ramené une bouteille avec moi... Mettons de côté l'horrible sauce gravy en granulé, shall we? Et pensons à la horseradish sauce, une pure merveille, un petit goût de wasabi sans pour autant avoir son exotique ; la bramley apple sauce: l'accompagnement idéal du rôti de porc; et enfin la Worcestershire sauce, qui je pense, devrait se mettre partout tellement elle est bonne, elle relèverait n'importe quel plat.

Les petits déjeuners anglais, les tourtes de viande aux pommes de terre, les saucisses avec purée, et autres baked beans sur toast... Ahh que tous ces plats ont l'air gras, lourd sur l'estomac, peu raffinée... oui, c'est vrai d'un premier abord, cependant, pensez un instant à l'expérience: un moment de douce et huileuse culpabilité, oui c'est gras et oui il vaut mieux ne pas en manger tout le temps, mais quel plaisir!

Donc, tout d'abord l'expérience, ensuite beaucoup de critiques vont mettre en avant le basique des recettes, cependant, lorsqu'on les compare à certains de nos plats comme la salade niçoise ou le gratin dauphinois, je ne vois pas de quoi les anglais devraient avoir honte. Certains plats comme le toad in the hole sont tout aussi techniques que notre sauté de veau marengo.

A toad in the hole, un bien bon crapaud dans un trou

Cependant, on mélange souvent technique, préparation et raffinement; ce n'est pas parce qu'un plat est sophistiqué qu'il est bon, au contraire, c'est parfois des recettes simples qui font le bonheur de nos papilles: par exemple, une galette bretonne complète, bien réalisée, ni trop sèche, ni gorgée de beurre: un vrai délice. Le même exemple revient au fameux English breakfast: des ingrédients de bonne qualité, une bonne cuisson: pour ça, je me paierai un billet Eurostar illico, encore faut-il avoir la bonne adresse... Et hélas, aussi bien en France qu'en Angleterre, seuls de petits bijoux se trouvent parmi une myriade de pubs se voulant être de la haute cuisine, et il est bien difficile et rare de les trouver. Dommage.

Voici donc une opinion assez originale, voire iconoclaste, vous me direz... Faire l'apologie de la cuisine anglaise, qu'elle soit haute ou pas, n'était pas mon leitmotiv; mais plutôt celui de rétablir une vérité face à laquelle de vieux clichés mènent la vie dure. Oui, la cuisine anglaise n'est peut-être pas la plus raffinée, ni la meilleure pour la santé, mais ce n'est pas la pire.

By Morgane Billy
(Charlie and Rory's Food's French correspondent)

English food, a French standpoint (English translation)

2009-09-23T17:29:00.005+01:00

'' We cannot trust these people, their food is way too bad. (…) Beside Finland, it is worst country for food.''
Jacques Chirac, French President between 1995-2007

Well, this is obviously a good way to maintain good relationships between neighbours! We knew that Chirac was a food lover, especially for the calf's head recipe; however, we now also know that he isn't particularly keen on English pudding.

It is pretty amazing how stereotypes are still so established in our societies; in France English people are seen as arrogant and their food as simply disgusting; for the rest of the world, French people are pretentious and masters of the art of striking... but is this all true?

Before leaving France for Manchester, my friends told me to beware of the food, apparently prices were ridiculously high and quality very low, however, after a few months there, I think it's time to set things right! We, French people, have such a passion for food that we even sometimes forget Socrates's quote: ''You should eat to live; not live to eat''. Then, yes we have good food and some of the best head-cooks; however, it seems like we started to have a swollen head: we wanted to write down the French gastronomy in UNESCO's World heritage.

Ridiculous. And Pretentious. Moreover, we are sure our food is way better than any other, way more elaborated. But let's be honest, the courses we are eating in the everyday life are pretty far from the ones cooked by some of our rewarded chefs.

Let's come back to England, and what we could call its Pub-gastronomy; to have tasted it, well it seems that all those clichés weren't true after all... Maybe it's time paying attention rather than scornfully glancing at English food and discovering recipes that have nothing to be ashamed of.

English courses are normally quite simple, and this represents the main advantage of such cuisine. Indeed, it is possible to cook oneself good recipes without being a grand chef. For instance, the shepherd pie, to have witnessed the preparation from scratch, well it does not require any specific talent... sorry about that.. but the point is that its simplicity allows to enhance such basic meals thanks to creativity. Using seasoning, new ingredients, it is possible to transform a random course into a unique experience; in an easier way because the cooking doesn't need a strict follow-up of the recipe.

Then, English meals might be classic, but at least, it is easy to accompany them well, thanks to sauces mainly. To create dressing, we like to use oil, butter and cream, while you seem to use with no restriction malt vinegar- you even put some on chips, which at the beginning was a little bit disturbing, but finally I ended loving it, and so bad that I brought a bottle back home. Anyhow, let's forget the granulated gravy sauce, s'il vous plaît?

And think about horseradish sauce, amazing, a little air of wasabi without all the exotic aspect brought with; then the bramley apple one, absolutely delicious in any roast pork dish; and finally, the ultimate must-have, the Worcestershire sauce, it can spice up any recipe.

The full English breakfast, meat potatoes pies, an hand-made hamburger, mash potatoes and sausages, baked beans on toast... Ahh, all of these courses seem fat, heavy, and not really sophisticated; and at first sight yes they are; however, let's think for a while about the experience: enjoying them brings up a mass of guilt-feeling, because, yes it is unhealthy and, yes we rather not eat them every single day, but what a pleasure!

Then, a lot of criticisms are made about the simplicity of recipes. However, when we start a comparison with some national dishes like salade niçoise or gratin dauphinois, well they seem easy to create as well. Certain courses, such as the toad in the hole, need as much technique as our sauté de veau marengo (a special sautéed veal).
A sidenote: quite an interesting name for a dish: a toad in the hole... Food for thoughts please

However, we frequently mix up between preparation, technique and refinement. It's not because a course is sophisticated that it is good, it is even often the contrary that happens. For instance, a savoury buckwheat pancake might be the simplest meal ever, but well cooked, it is a wonder. Same for an English breakfast with quality ingredients and a good cooking; I would pay for a Eurostar ticket right away. The problem is, as much in UK than in France, to find the good place; and it's most of the time hard and rare to do so. A shame.

Well this is an iconoclast point of view, you might say. Praising English cuisine, whether it is haute or not, was not really the leitmotiv here, but rather to restore the heckled truth. Yes, English food is not the most refined one, neither the healthiest, however, it is not the worst one.

Morgane Billy

Dictator's Diets

2009-09-12T13:19:00.005+01:00

From Sudan’s Omar Al-Bashir, to Gaddafi in Libya, to Lord Voldermort in a certain, recent blockbusting book/film conglomerate, dictators and their hokum are ubiquitous and hard to escape from, even in our supposedly advanced, modern times.

Luckily most of us (or at least most of our readers..) live in relatively democratic countries free from the repression and human rights abuses characteristic of autocratic set-ups. In keeping with our blog’s topical nature and spirit we have decided to analyse whether it's possible to find a correlation between the diets of notorious despots and their general levels of derangement. Additionally we shall interpret the underlying causes and meanings behind our dictator's dietary choices.

Iet's begin with Stalin, a paranoid megalomaniac responsible for numerous purges and the deaths of millions of Soviets.

It has jokingly been said that one of Stalin’s favourite modern gameshows would be "meal or no meal"; in reference to his presiding over the USSR during a time of starvation for many – Holodomor, a drastic Ukrainian famine that took place in the early 30s is mentioned particularly often. Holodomor resulted from a USSR policy on collective farms leading to famines starving millions to death. Importantly there were no natural causes for this starvation, and unlike other Soviet Republics of 1932, Ukraine infact enjoyed a bumper wheat crop. Last year this act was recognised by the governments of twenty countries as genocide.

Cuisine wise it’s fair to say Stalin liked the finer things in life, however his diet was fairly conventional. The moustachioed megalomaniac was a proud champion of Soviet dishes and in-fact even requested that a cookbook be written documenting the best Georgian, Russian and Ukrainian meals.

Recipes included in the book were such Soviet staples as a Russian Winter Salad (a salad composed of diced potato, vegetables and sometimes meats bound in mayonnaise.), Kotlety (Russian mince cakes) and Harcho (a spicy Georgian meat soup). Perhaps at some sub-conscious level these choices were due to a need to be loved and a desperate wish to be a ‘man of the people’.

Kotlety

Similarly Chairman Mao of the People’s Republic of China shared Stalin’s taste for uncomplicated, patriotic dishes, with his favourite being red roasted pork and bitter melon. Simple psychoanalysis can clarify this choice – the red roasted pork clearly represents communism in Mao’s mind, as shown by the red pigment, whilst the green must unequivocally represent capitalism (the colour of the US dollar, no less!). Is it any coincidence the red roasted pork tastes sweet and the green bitter melon sour? We sincerely doubt it…

Luckily if we press on in history, dictators with slightly more outlandish diets are easier to stumble upon. For examply let’s move the focus of our attentions to a more modern day fellow, Sadaam. Now, mention Sadaam Hussein and food and he'll probably mostly be remembered for potentially scamming billions of dollars from the UN food for oil program. However, interestingly, rumour has it Sadaam's last meal may have in fact been hamburgers and fries.

Now we're unsure how to interpret this move, perhaps a somewhat deliberated acceptance of the American occupation of his old country? A can’t beat ‘em join ‘em gesture? Whatever reasons behind his decision, if true, it was a particularly unusual meal for such a devout champion of Arab nationalism.

Moving further East, we get to Kim Jong-Il, who incidentally should probably take the award for most accurate caricature of an evil villain ever! (short stature - check, stupid haircut - check, massive germ phobia - check, vast harems of Swedish models - double check), so perhaps its unsurprising his diet matches up.

Whilst 22 million in his drought-ravaged country are starving and slurping gruel made from boiled grass Kim sips vintage Cognac and eats pizza.

Infact Kim Jong is Hennesy cognac's biggest customer, annually importing nearly half a million pounds worth of vintage Brandy each year. He has also gone to ridiculous lengths to create North Korea's first Italian restaurant, sending cooks to Naples and Rome for training after they made "errors", making you wonder exactly how hard it is to make a pasta sauce?

Kim Jong Il has been on record offering this simple, infuriating comment on the Pyongyang restaurant; "the people should also be allowed access to the world's famous dishes". Hmmmm.

Finally, to round off this happy family we'd be churlish not to include possibly the twentieth centuries most notorious dictator, the staunch champion of racial purity (and obviously complete idiocy), Adolf Hitler.

In relation to food, firstly it is interesting to record that "The Poison Kitchen" was the nickname Hitler dubbed a group of journalists at Bavarian newspaper, The Munich Post. These journalists were highly critical of Hitler and ran a series of negative investigative exposés in the 20s and 30s. They were one of only a few early dissenting voices on the rise of the Nazi party…

When Hitler finally came to power in 1933, The Munich Post offices were subject to a vicious ransacking by Sturmabteilung (stormtroopers) and each and every member of staff went "missing". For ever. The very street address was wiped of the map. It's enlightening to note that Hitler chose a food related nickname in this instance.

Most interestingly however, Hitler was a vegetarian. Or at least a self-described vegetarian; rumours abound of his hit and miss devotion to a meat free diet. Apparently his decision was based on the composer Richard Wagner's anti-semitic diet theories. These are pretty long and convoluted, but essentially boil down to a belief that 'man's historic fall' - was initially triggered by a move by vegetarian people driven by famine to renounce their natural diet and consume flesh.

To even our slowest readers, we hope a trend is beginning to emerge. Admittedly we realise that our data set may have been small, but our methods were precise; clearly it is this that has allowed such flawless analysis and quick conclusion. It seems obvious that there are infact only two extremes evident in most dictator’s diets. That of either staunch patriotic nationalism or avant-garde idiocy.

Write in and let us know which choice your countries dictator favours!

Spit Roast Lamb - Spit Roasting DIY

2009-07-28T09:25:00.015+01:00

A week or so ago I had a hand in spit roasting two lambs over an open fire.

Oddly I have a little bit of experience in doing such things.. Going back a few years, I invited a big group of friends round for a pig / hog roast. Good fun, lots of things learnt. We bought in a barrel of Stowfords Press (export which was abbout 6%).. Lethal.

The actual roasting was a great success. I used a scaffold pole as a spit. I made a "fire box" from an old 45 gallon oil barrel sliced in half with an angle grinder. Very Heath-Robinson.. but totally ace. It was such an effective construction that a good friend of mine bought it off me as he wanted it for himself!

The second time I spit roasted a pig was a couple of years later. I organised a small Music festival. The tickets were free - I hoped to raise money to pay for the event through selling roast pork / pork rolls. We had the worlds largest tray of sage and onion stuffing. The music festival was a success. The pork, apple sauce, and stuffing rolls sold like hot-cakes!

I used a scaffolding pole as a spit, and also some threaded bar - used as bolts to securely hold the pig onto the spit. (very frankenstein)

Below are the lamb photos..

Confusion .. "which end in first?"

Below you can see the hammering of a scaffold pole up the rear end of a lamb! It seems to be traditional to shout amusing phrases like "can you see it going in?" when doing such a task..

The beady-eyed amongst you will notice the magnificent scaffolding structure that I devised to keep the English rain off our roasting. A simple A-Frame combined with an old barn door.

Below you can see the lambs with the threaded bars to secure them on the spit. good stuff!

Post- Roast. Removing the grill / bolts for carving in the marquee. Tasty Tasty!

big smiles all round.

ps. If you need a free-lance spit roaster - I'm your man!

Food Related Photos

2009-07-06T19:36:00.004+01:00

A few we like..

Coming soon: Evil dictators and what their diets say about them...

And also Parsnip Cake!

Yeast in the Middle East?

2009-06-18T12:16:00.014+01:00

On numerous occasions (well, two..) this blog has championed the many merits of that dark, gooey, yeasty confection dubbed 'Marmite'. Great on toast, with roast potatoes or even possibly used as a deodorant, clearly Marmite is a genius invention.

Bearing this in mind, whilst it may be quite late news to many (the concept is nine years old!), we feel it's important to share Marmite's proposed role in the Middle East peace process with you, our intellectual, well-informed readership. One creative chap advising the foreign office has been particularly keen on the idea of our favourite half-crude-oil/half-sandwich-spread mix being promoted for sale round this troubled region. The logic behind this being a lack of zinc makes men irritable and belligerent. Zinc comes in yeast. No-one in the Middle East makes bread with yeast. So obviously give them Marmite!

Sadly despite this profound breakthrough (who could ever need two states, if you've got two slices of toast and some marmite?) the UN have yet to start dropping parcels of Marmite food aid...

Ask The Rabbi?

2009-06-12T12:39:00.021+01:00

Like much of mankind's recorded past the origin of the sandwich is clouded in myth. Controversially, in common with a large portion of modern history, the sandwich may too have been a victim of poisonous anti-Semitic actions and denials.

We found it illuminating to discover a comprehensive and convincing body of evidence behind the invention, in-fact, being a creation of Rabbi Hillel the Elder, rather than the conceited Englishman the Earl Of Sandwich. Interestingly this would have been well over fifteen hundred years before the grand earl arrogantly added his title to the mix!

Evidence uncovered stems from a part of the Passover Seder, (the annual commemoration of the Exodus from Egypt), in the section of Korech, where the Haggadah, the ancient liturgy, instructs participants to take the matzo and wrap it around the bitter herbs and eat them together whilst saying in Hebrew: "This is a remembrance of Hillel in Temple times — This is what Hillel did when the Temple existed: he used to enwrap the Paschal lamb, the matzo and the bitter herbs and eat them as one."

Rabbi Hillel is also famous for once having been asked to explain the Jewish religon whilst standing on one foot, he is said to have quickly replied "What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow: this is the whole Law; the rest is the explanation; go and learn". Pretty much all you need to know right?

Free Rice!

2009-06-01T10:35:00.004+01:00

Free Rice is seriously cool. Three mega things about it,
1. you learn stuff,
2. you donate rice to countries that need it most,
3. Bob Geldof's not involved anywhere,

It's also highly addictive. Not recommended if you should be studying for exams..

jerk my goat - bbq

2009-05-31T13:08:00.008+01:00

In light of the 'el-sorchio' weather, we fired up the rickety old bbq. I've wanted to cook goat ever since the butcher across the road from my house put up a sign in his window saying "we now stock goat".

I had a a quick browse on the internet for some goat related inspiration - of which there was plenty.

I quite fancied giving 'jerk' a bit of a go. Apparently, a traditional Jamaican style of cooking goat.

Key ingredients of jerk:

allspice (pimento)

scotch bonnet peppers

cloves

cinnamon

thyme

garlic

all smashed and bashed together. Its supposed to be a 'dry rub'.

The jerk seasoning was made up, then rubbed well onto the goat. I left it for a couple of hours to do its business while the bbq built up heat. I did drizzle a little olive oil over the goat before cooking.

The butcher told me to cook it slowly. I used tin foil on the bbq to slow the cooking down.

Whilst other more regular bbq items (burgers, kebabs etc) were cooked, the goat slowly, but surely did its thing.

Whilst I'm talking about kebabs - I'll let you in on a top tip: old bicycle spokes make excellent kebab skewers! I cut 10 spokes from an old bicycle wheel, cleaned them up thoroughly.. They did an excellent job. (and were free!)

Moving back to the goat.

It was great! Very tasty.

I'll cook goat again no doubt. I have plans for both curried goat, and also a roast goat leg.

Get a goat on your bbq!

goat links:

Goat Leg Roulade - Smoked

Kerouac and Dylan; their relevance to food considered..

2009-05-30T22:56:00.021+01:00

The most common precepts of religion - known as the Two Pillars of Wisdom - are that there is God, and that compassion is the way of being. It's widely been extrapolated, however, that Bob Dylan and Jack kerouac are in fact the only twin pillars of wisdom worth listening and paying attention to.

Perhaps this means On The Road or Blonde on Blonde should take on some kind of greater significance? Unfortunately we know nothing more than that On The Road is a cracking book and Blonde on Blonde a great album. Clearly, as influential thinkers within the 20th century cultural zeitgeist, it is crucial that their relation to food is discussed within this blog.

Initially we were unsure what relations Dylan had to food, so undertook a careful analysis of his back catalogue. Sadly, few references to food were found, except for maybe "Hot chili peppers in the blistering sun" or a "Country Pie", however included here is a download of one of his excellent Theme Time radio shows, this time on the subject of food...

Jack Kerouac on the other hand wrote frequently about food, his fast paced evocative prose making it all the more tangible. Open-fire cooked canned macaroni cheese and peanut butter never sounded so good! If you check this website out (only thing that isn't cool is it's kind of a fey poetry magazine named after the man himself - which maybe tarnishes Kerouac's memory..) You can see all the different times he wrote about food and maybe pick up some recipes to boot!

Vitally, as this article shows, both artists, whilst being important in their respective fields, can be said to have contributed significantly to the realm of nourishment narration too.

Fruit Toot

2009-05-28T16:21:00.005+01:00

Thursday's fruity efforts:

Banana x 1

Kiwi x 1

Raisins (assorted)

Also:

Apparently this:

is Jesus in Marmite.

I'm not convinced..

Rhubarb and Ginger Crumble

2009-05-28T16:12:00.006+01:00

Rhubarb + Ginger Crumble

It's an easy one this.

Ingredients:

Rhubarb

Demerara Sugar

Butter (unsalted)

Plain Flour

Ginger

1. Get Rhubarb. Enough for your needs. Chop it up good. Lengths of about 4-5 cm. If the Rhubarb is thick chop it width ways to make it nice and thin. I think you want longish, not too fat rhubarb pieces.

2. Ginger. Optional, but highly recommended. Chop up (or grate) as much or as little as you feel is needed. Add that to your rhubarb pieces. Some people use ground ginger.

3. Place the rhubarb + ginger into a suitable dish. Sprinkle a healthy amount of demerara - obviously more or less depending on how sweet you like these things. Stick it in the oven with a couple of spoons of water to get the rhubarb on the way to being nicely cooked. (Give it 10 mins or so)

4. The crumble itself. Get some plain flour. I then add about 1/3 butter to 2/3 flour. I use a knife to 'chop' the butter into the flour to begin with.. I then use my fingers to thoroughly rub the butter and flour together to make the crumble.

5. Remove cooking rhubarb + ginger from oven

6. Cover the top with your crumble mix..

7. Sprinkle demerara on top..

8. Stick it in the oven at about 150deg C until its all nicely cooked (golden on top). Probably 30-40 mins.

9. Eat. Totally ace with greek yoghurt.

I ended up having a somewhat lengthy, and confusing discussion as to whether rhubarb was a vegetable or not...

The Afghan, Rusholme

2009-05-27T17:08:00.018+01:00

Following on from the delightful trip to Habesha, it was decided that we should take a trip to one of Rushholme's more understated cafes. Unlike a great deal of the other venues along the curry mile the Afhan Cuisine is not adorned from pillar to post with neon lighting, nor is there a slightly overweight, middle-aged man trying to tempt you in with offers of a 15% discount. Its certainly not another '£10-for-a-plate-of-slop' curry house.

There are two parts to the Afghan, upstairs, and downstairs. Upstairs offering more of a restaurant feel, and downstairs a cafe atmosphere. I prefer downstairs. Simple, diner-style furniture and large glass windows that allow an excellent, almost panoramic, view of the the curry mile.

[photo: joe sheffer]

We ate Quabily Pillow, Ashek, Challow Kebab. The food was hot, tasty, and arrived within minutes. The Quabilly Pillow is text-book, traditional middle eastern cuisine - the national dish of Afghanistan. It is essentially rice (lots) raisons, sliced fried carrot and lamb. The Challow kebab - served with white fluffy rice, cooked tomato and a roasted whole onion.

We drank a mint tea from dinky glasses.

Overall the Afghan offered a laid back, authentic (and cheap!) evening out. Varied flavours and spices, very friendly staff.

A selection of quotes from the evening:

"definitely got mint leaves going on" [rory on the subject of tea]

"nice foliage"

"I'm not sure if I have any thoughts ever" [rory, on life in general]

"its a dough that becomes crust with a filling of almonds, butter and sugar" [Morgane - talking about her crusty dough].

Props to Morgane - our French correspondent - for joining in on the trip, and taking the photos.. though the less said about the melodica the bettter.

jazzy.

Charlie.. (boucher, pompier, dompteur, et pêcheur de haute mer)

......

Links:

Article from the BBC about Rusholme - The curry / kebeb mile.

Wikipedia Article on food from Afghanistan

Fruits you sir.

2009-05-27T16:28:00.003+01:00

Wednesday:

kiwi x 2

banana x 1

(kiwi photo from: www.thedailygreen.com/ healthy-eating/eat-safe...)

(banana photo from: www.driedfruitguy.com/ organic/index.php?main_...)

Tuesday fruit count

2009-05-26T18:49:00.005+01:00

Big-up the Tuesday fruit consumption:

2 bananas

1 apple

assorted grapes

how many fruits are you noshing?

Reviews Habesha, Manchester

2009-05-24T18:12:00.019+01:00

Tenastellen! (that's hello in Amharic, Ethiopia's main language, you uncultured louts..)

Today we're going to review Habesha, Manchester's only Ethiopian restaurant. It's something of a diamond in the rough and quite an unknown entity in the Mancunian fine dining scene, basically, no one seems to know it actually exists. We know it exists however, and we know it's good.

Ethiopia cuisine is essentially based around Injera - a unique flatbread made from the Teff grain. For those not in the know it's something like a cross between a pancake and a crumpet. They say you make your mind up whether you like Injera's tangy soft vibe the second you take a bite, meaning there's no room to grow to like it - we both loved it immediately.

Every meal in Ethiopia involves slapping down some Injera on the table and then spooning a motley assortment of stews and salads on top. Sources inform us one American tourist mistook his injera for the table cloth!

The other staples of Ethiopian cuisine generally revolve around stews and mince meat. Sometimes a boiled egg gets involved here and there. Most crucially, however there is Gored Gored - raw beef mixed with a few spices. We're firm believers that munching on some raw beef is essentially the eating equivalent of bunjee jumping and so obviously well worth a try.

Habesha, despite often being devoid of any custom, has many admirable qualities (least of all their ability to regularly undercharge us when it comes time to get the bill). The inside is nicely and sparsely decorated, you get the aforementioned bill in a nice colorful case, the service is quick and friendly, etc. etc. But let's get onto discussing the food....

As one of our blog's correspondents has been lucky enough to experience Ethiopian cuisine first hand, having travelled there, we feel we are in a relatively unique position in reviewing Habesha. Luckily we found their dishes fantastic - the kitfo was nicely spiced, the injera tangy and chewy, much like a savoury wheat flavoured starburst (what do they call them nowadays anyway?) and the Gored Gored appropriately raw. Highly recommended!

Innovations in the cheese on toast field: egg as an appropriate entity...

2009-05-23T13:11:00.024+01:00

I have to say my gran is quite a dashing older lady, however, more important is her input into the complex science of cheese on toast. Many distinguished scholars have often compared her pre-eminent advances in the field to the impact Darwin's Origin of the Species had on Evolutionary theory. Detractors however point to the striking similarity between her advances and so called 'Welsh' 'Rarebit', this is churlish we believe, and her innovation is clearly a separate entity in its own right. Even the Soviets were listening, rumour has it there's a whole filing cabinet dedicated to her work in a deep dark corner of the Kremlin. The most inspired addition is egg - it doesn't take an innovator to know eggs are nutritious. Below we brief you on her findings.

To begin you break an egg into a bowl, add grated cheese and scramble with a fork. Add wholegrain mustard and a splosh of Worcestershire Sauce. Mix well. Toast bread. Add cheese/egg/mustard/Worcester mix to bread surface and grill. Completion.

Brief no?

Soup Is Good Food!

2009-05-21T13:34:00.021+01:00

Also coming up:

An old lady's innovative cheese on toast recipe.
French people who cook good: an in depth review.
Food and sex in antiquity, aphrodisiacs and otherwise - a scholarly analysis.
Photography related to edible matter.
Foodborne toxins, a taste test, Clostridium vs Anthrax.
And as a token of respect for our humongous French readership a critique and comparison of English pub food and French cuisine. This piece shall be written in the mother-tongue of our guest author, the world designated language of love, Français.

For now we'll leave you with 'Soup is Good Food' by Californian politco-punk-agit-upstarts Dead Kennedys,

Things to come..

2009-05-15T17:12:00.003+01:00

The definitive round up of horrifying tinned foodstuffs.
Our guide to the inverse of dieting - ensuring calorific value for money.
Trip to the Afgan in rushholme.
Ethiopia - The culinary delights there of.
Goat - Curried.

The jelly baby showdown, Fortnum & Mason vs Bassetts

2009-05-08T23:08:00.005+01:00

Fortnum & Mason - Purported to be purveyors of fine food and drink.

Bassetts - Makers of Sweets and Confectionary since 1842.

There has been a question that has been troubling me for quite some time: Who makes the best jelly babies - Fortnums, or Bassetts?

It is a tough call.

In the green corner, we have Fortnum & Mason.. In the red corner Bassetts

Clearly the offering from Fortnum and Mason is larger.

The Bassetts jelly babies are significantly more rotund compared to Fortnums.

Taste wise, the Bassetts jelly babies are sweeter, more sugary. The Fortnum & Mason babies are more fruity.

In terms of texture, the Fortnum's babies have a harder / less squishy body. (Bassetts are softer)

I feel that the colours of the Fortnum babies are more natural - (above: left, Bassetts 'Lemon', right Fortnums 'Lemon')

Tasting notes.

The Moral Imperative To Utilise GM Crops In Relieving World Hunger.

2009-04-23T19:19:00.008+01:00

Abstract
The World Health Organization estimates that one-third of the world is well fed, one-third is under-fed and one-third is starving; concurrently exacerbating the problem is the fact that the world’s population is growing at a rate of roughly 100 million a year. In this paper the various ethical dilemmas surrounding the use of GM crops (and to a degree biotechnology in general) as a solution to world hunger are examined. Conclusively despite potential health and environmental risks I find a compelling moral imperative to utilize this technology.

Introduction

2008 saw substantial increases in world food prices cause a global crisis. Sometimes violent protests spread like wildfire – perhaps the worst example was Haiti where food riots resulted in the death of five people. In Haiti the price for staple foods such as rice, beans and fruit rose by up to 50% since late 2007 (11). This global crisis again highlighted in the Western media’s consciousness the problems the world currently has sustaining the 6.7 or so billion people living in it; genetic engineering of crops was widely touted as a potential solution (15). One in twelve people worldwide are malnourished, including 160 million children under the age of 5. The World Health Organisation estimates that one-third of the world is well fed, one-third is under-fed and one-third is starving (15). With this population growing by roughly 100 million people each year (6) clearly something needs to change if a utopian vision of a future free from malnutrition can ever be realised.

It has been suggested that because of scepticism within many wealthier countries (mainly stemming from the lack of perceived benefit to consumers in these countries) GM technology could end up consigned to the dustbin of history. The European ban on GM products (excluding Bt corn) and over-regulation of scientific testing has often been claimed to slow the trickle down of GM food benefits to developing countries. Unfounded negativity created by the EU, alongside commercial pressures, has seen countries such as Zambia and Zimbabwe refusing GM food aid when millions in their countries are starving. (13) I believe Western efforts in improving food security in poorer countries would be most effective if focused upon biotechnology such as GM crops.

I believe that the moral imperative to utilise biotechnology such as GM crops to ameliorate worldwide malnutrition is so great as to provide an ethical obligation for the developed world to moderate their concerns (which are, at least currently, based on little or no scientific evidence). Ethically I realise that perhaps this decision should be a democratic process, however I would argue whether the general public in western economies understands the problems and needs of small farmers in developing countries, and whether they themselves represent the needs of developing countries. In this case, their decisions affect the whole world’s populace.

Perhaps most evocative of my position is a quote by Norman Borlaug, a scientist responsible for the first ‘green revolution’ which helped drag Mexico and the Indian sub-continent from the brink of mass starvation,

“They've never experienced the physical sensation of hunger. They do their lobbying from comfortable office suites in Washington or Brussels. If they lived just one month amid the misery of the developing world, as I have for fifty years, they'd be crying out for tractors and fertiliser and irrigation canals and be outraged that fashionable elitists back home were trying to deny them these things.”

In this case he’s discussing the first green revolution but the message is identical, (1).

Advantages Transgenic Crops Offer

To begin with it’s important to discuss the advantages that make this technology so morally important to pursue. I would like to point out that I am not arguing in favour of the abandonment of other forms of crop modification such as traditional breeding, merely the examination of the potential of GM crops in a fair and meaningful manner – i.e. the comparison of risks and productivity between GM crops and what they could be replacing. All technologies should be used to meet the tasks and needs for which they are best equipped.

One of the first achievements in transgenic crop design was to incorporate genes from the bacteria Bacillus thuringiensis into hybrids of cotton, maize and potatoes allowing a number of dangerous insect pests to be controlled and thus reducing the need for pesticides. Other targets for GM crop design include traits such as tolerances to herbicides or extremes such as soil alkalinity, iron toxicity, free aluminium, drought, heat and cold; all clearly conferring much advantage. Importantly abiotic stress resistant varieties will allow agriculture to succeedin problem soil areas adding more arable land to the globalproduction base. The ability to control viral and fungal disease and rusts (which have caused countless famines in the past) will also offer great benefits in reducing crop spoilage. (1)

The potential to improve the nutritional quality of food crops is another important option genetic engineering offers. Most famously Golden Rice has been modified to feature increased quantities of vitamin A, iron, and othermicronutrients and could eventually have a profound impactfor millions of people suffering from vitamin A and iron deficiencies,causes of blindness and anaemia,respectively. Whilst Golden Rice could be argued to be something of a Trojan horse, (many criticisms have been levelled at its efficacy in delivering its supposed benefits), clearly the possibility to increase foods nutritional values exists and should be a major player in combating malnutrition. (1)

Already, in the countries that have adopted transgenic crops agricultural yields have increased considerably. Since 1996 GM crop use has spread from covering roughly 5 million acres to roughly 250 million acres worldwide and has allowed global farm incomes to increase by $27 billion annually. Pesticide applications have been reduced by nearly £500 million. In each of the last six years, biotech cotton has helped U.S. farmers in drought-ridden areas cut down their water usage by 93 million gallons. (3)

Clearly genetic engineering of crops can offer gigantic improvements to agricultural productivity and nutritional values of crops, even if the technology may not quite be there yet.

Environmental Risks

After discussing the physical advantages of GM crops it seems sensible to address the concept of risk to the environment. The ideas of transgenic crops becoming noxious weeds, or transferring genes to wild plants and the disastrous knock on effects this could have on wild ecosystems are widely touted by anti GM proponents. The increased risk of allergies has also often been discussed (17). Arguments such as these can be refuted simply by the statement; but with good regulation and rigorous scientific testing this won’t be allowed to happen. Relating back to the crux of my argument, Jimmy Carter, former president of the USA summed this concept up accurately when he said “Responsible biotechnology is not the enemy; starvation is.” (6)

The concern that large amounts of crops with similar genetics could be decimated by a super virus or similar are also often held up as a reason not to utilise GM technology. However both the first Green Revolution and GM hold the risk of lowering genetic diversity and exposing a crop to a super virus. Sharing this risk is central because it is one of the most viable arguments against GM crops. The fact remains, though, that the Green Revolution marked a significant increase in worldwide food production despite the relative risk of monocultures. (1)

For all these environmental fears regarding GM it is also important to note that GM crops can offer many potential environmental advances. Conventional agricultural techniques have damaged the environment with a reliance on chemical fertilisers and pesticides. Hypothetically GM crops will allow the use of fewer pesticides and fertilisers and increases in productivity in conjunction with higher stress tolerance should mean less arable land is necessary, removing the need for activities such as rainforest clearance. (1)

The development of agriculture marks the beginning of civilisation, and the risks taken historically do not seem any less severe than the potential risks of transgenics. To illustrate this point I would like to discuss the Californian Indians who agriculturally took very dangerous risks, harvesting acorns, which are highly nutritious, but also highly poisonous if not properly treated (20). Most advantages in human history have carried some degree of risk such as airplanes or pharmaceuticals; most relevantly pesticides are still deemed a positive development in agriculture despite the fact that they have poisoned 45,000 and killed 200. Clearly risk is inherent to most advances, yet in each case we weigh up the potential benefits against the risk and base our decisions on how they measure up. In this case I believe very much the impetus is to utilise GM to help stave off world hunger. (12)

Claims of Unnaturalness

Arguments based around naturalness are inherently flawed in many respects; the new advantages genetic engineering offers in crop design are not clearly different in concept from traditional crop breeding methods. There has always been a form of gene transfer - Gregor Mendel transferred genes in groups whilst GM crops allow genes to be transferred singularly and more specifically (14). To highlight this I would like to relate the vast amount of work that went into improving maize protein quality – a floury maize grain was discovered carrying high levels of desirable amino acids. Unfortunately, as is often the case in plant breeding this trait turned out to be closely associated with several undesirable ones. Using conventional breeding and rapid chemical analysis of large numbers of samples, it took 20 years to create a viable maize plant containing this improved protein quality. Through the use of genetic engineering tools the same result could have been achieved in a tiny fraction of the time. (1)

The selectivity of these ‘natural’ objections an also be called into question. No concern is raised about the Swedish Turnip - a cross between a cabbage and a turnip (23), Golden Promise, a yeast widely used in the production of whisky, genetically modified through the use of radiation is also never questioned (4). Medical applications similarly do not seem to fall under these prohibitions; likewise applications on micro organisms such as yeast and washing powder are not regarded as a problem. (12) I would also like to state that concepts of naturalness in this context could simply be boiled down to one quote “Philosophy is not for the hungry stomach (18)”.

A Solution Looking For a Problem?

Perhaps one of the more valid reasons to refuse GM crops is the argument that it’s a solution for a problem not in existence. Whilst there is enough food produced in the world issues surrounding the distribution of this food lead to the mass hunger seen today. It is often posed what is the moral obligation to utilise a technology carrying some degree of risk when it is not an essential part of this solution? (22)

It can be argued, as I have already, that the idea of risk in GM is no greater than any other agricultural techniques pioneered in the past and that the potential benefits vastly outweigh the risks. I would argue that GM crops are the simplest, most pragmatic and most realistic solution to world starvation in comparison to ideas such as agricultural education programs or fixing the distribution problem and so in this case the degree of risk is justified. The fact that the world’s population is rapidly expanding and predicted to soon reach a value to which current agricultural practice can’t provide for, regardless of proper distribution methods and farming education, surely leaves this argument redundant too. Perhaps not today, but someday soon we will need to either utilise GM technology or allow people to starve. (6)

Consumer Choice and Monopolisation by Big Business

In terms of choice I would argue that farmers in general are neither for, nor against GM crops, with their main concern in choosing which seeds to plant being how to decrease production costs, increase productivity or produce products of higher value. Clearly it is always going to be the producer’s choice as to which seeds he plants.

The argument of consumer choice is, however, much more relevant to European consumers. Whilst publicly stating that GM foods are safe, EU officials require GM foods to be labelled and traced back to their origin. Consumer choice is obviously an important principle worth protecting to a degree; unfortunately in this case it proves very problematic, the trouble being many African countries lack the institutional capacity to implement the strict records demanded by the EU. This has caused African governments to embrace excessively cautious bio safety regulations subsequently making it hard for drought stricken societies to support themselves and created scenarios such as Zambia and Zimbabwe refusing GM food aid (13). I would argue in favour of abandoning this precautionary principle, believing the moral imperative to protect fellow humans from the real risk of starvation outweighs a likely unfounded belief in the dangers of GM. As a final point, the only way to have real consumer choice is to implement voluntary labelling – this would satisfy both those who demand labelling (who can pick and choose their non GM foods) and those who believe labelling poses an unnecessary technical trade barrier.

Another criticism levelled at GM is that the technology will be subject to monopolisation by big business and that the small farmer will find such technology unfeasible and unaffordable, it’s feared that GM crop research won’t focus on areas likely to help poorer country’s farmers.

Much like the discussion of environmental risk this argument can easily be refuted by careful implementation and perhaps government intervention in GM research; possibly through means such as public-private partnerships and government encouragement to share research. However whilst the state can clearly take a role, free markets could perhaps become freer in order to help the diffusion of GM crops; functioning seed markets are rare in many countries (with the exception of maize, cotton and vegetables). Liberalising input markets and eliminating government monopolies would inevitably increase the potential size of markets for biotechnology innovations. Undoubtedly there is a risk that through inefficient management by government that GM technology may not have the impact it deserves in combating world hunger, but surely any impact in the battle against starvation is better than none? (19, 10, 7)

Conclusion

Pre agriculture it is supposed that many hunter-gatherers benefited from a vastly better diet than the current populations of developing nations and even many in developed nations (9). Sadly we can’t turn back the clock to these times, or even back to times when pre GM methods could feed the world’s populace. If we haven’t quite reached the carrying capacity of current agricultural technology we shall imminently. Ittook 10,000 years to expand food production to the currentlevel of roughly 5 billion tons per year and by 2025 this amount will need to have doubled again (3). This increase won’t be possible unless access totechnologies that can increase the yield, dependability, andnutritional quality of our staple food crops can be widely distributed amongst the world’s farmers (3). To boil my argument down to its very essence there is a moral imperative to pursue GM crop technology to help alleviate the suffering of growing numbers of malnourished people - do the unknown and unlikely risks of GM outweigh the very known and very likely threat of mass worldwide starvation?

References

1) Borlaug, N.E. (2000) Ending World Hunger. The Promise of Biotechnology and the Threat of Antiscience Zealotry, Plant Physiology, Vol. 124, pp. 487-490

2) Borlaug, N.E, (2007) Continuing the Green Revolution. The Wall Street Journal.

3) Borlaug, N.E, (2001) Transcript of Speech at Tuskegee University, Available: http://www.agbioworld.org/biotech-info/topics/borlaug/borlaugspeech.html Last accessed 17 March 2009.

4) Burglass, D. (2009). Calls For European Rethink On GM crops. Available: http://greenbio.checkbiotech.org/news/calls_european_rethink_gm_crops. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

5) Butz, W.P and Wu, F. (2004) The Future of Genetically Modified Crops Lessons from the Green Revolution, Rand Science and Technology

6) Carter, J. (1997) Forestalling Famine With Biotechnology. The Washington Times. Available: http://www.cartercenter.org/news/documents/doc32.html. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

7) Cohen, I.J. (2005) Poorer Nations Turn To Publicly Developed GM Crops. Nature Biotechnology Volume 23 Number 1 pp27-33.

8) Estrella, H.L and Alvarez-Morales, A. (2001) Genetically Modified Crops; Hope For Developing Countries? vol.2 no.4 European Molecular Biology Organization pp. 256-258.

9) Gray, J. (2002) Straw Dogs – Thoughts on Humans and Other Animals, London: Granta Books

10) Hails, R. (2004) Bioethics For Technology? Current Opinion in Biotechnology, 15:250-253

11) Klarreich, K. Food Crisis Renews Haiti's Agony. Available: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1729150,00.html. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

12) Koole, B, (2008) Genetically Modified Organisms: Risks, Benefits and Moral Obligation, The California Undergraduate Philosophy Review vol 1. pp35-42

13) Paarlberg, R.L, (2002) African Famine, Made in Europe. The Wall Street Journal

14) Prakash, C.P. (2001) The Genetically Modified Crop Debate in the Context of Agricultural Evolution, Plant Physiology, May 2001, Vol. 126, pp. 8-15

15) Sample, I. Nearly a Billion People Go Hungry Every Day – can GM crops help feed them? Available: http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/2009/jan/23/gm-crops-genetically-modified-food-crisis Last accessed 17 March 2009.

16) Thompson, P.B. (2007) Ethics, hunger And The Case For GM crops. Netherlands: Springer, 215-235

17) Whitman, D.B. (2000) Genetically Modified Foods: Harmful or Helpful? CSA Discovery Guide.

18) Discussion Forum. Are Developing Countries Right To Use GM Crops? Available: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/1899050.stm. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

19) Food & Agricultural Organisation – UN, (2004) Agricultural Biotechnology: Meeting The Needs Of The Poor? Available: http://www.fao.org/docrep/006/Y5160E/y5160e00.HTM. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

20) Author Unknown. Californian Indian Acorn Culture. Available: http://www.archives.gov/pacific/education/curriculum/4th-grade/acorn.html. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

21) Author Unknown. The World Hunger Problem Facts, Figures and Statistics. Available: http://library.thinkquest.org/C002291/high/present/stats.htm. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

22) Author Unknown – Friends of the Earth. (Unknown published date) Briefing Note: GM Crops and Food Security. Available: http://www.foe.co.uk/resource/briefings/gm_crops_food_security.pdf. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

23) Author Unknown – Eat Five a Day For Good Health! Nutritional and Other Information about Rutabagas and Turnips. Available: http://www.rebelhome.net/kpfnv45.html. Last accessed 17 March 2009.

Pollen Pie?

2009-03-29T16:42:00.026+01:00

Now I guess we've all heard talk of 'man mayonnaise' before, right? Previously, in more innocent days, i might've thought a verbalisation of this expression was simply the speaker utilising a smutty euphemism. Turns out some types have been mulling over that concept a bit more seriously. Tough economic times and everything eh?

Here's a brief extract from the blurb; "Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that."

A worthier cause I haven't heard all year! Anyone who's interested can buy a copy here.

Closer To Genius Than Ronald Mcdonald?

2009-03-18T17:44:00.046Z

This week we bring you a brief biography of Mcdonalds' most talented ex-employee, singer-songwriter Daniel Johnston...

It has often been opined that Daniel Johnston's sweet soprano is something akin to a mewling Possum being barbarically ravished against its will; others claim he can barely play guitar. It would take a fool to argue, however, that what Daniel doesn't understand about love and life is probably not worth knowing. Relevant to our food blog what he doesn't know about flipping burgers is probably fairly superfluous too.

Despite being hailed as a true original by acts like Sonic Youth and Yo La Tengo he still stuck at his day job with Mcdonalds throughout the eighties - this time was also peppered by spells in mental institutions caused by his lifelong struggle with bipolar disorder. Rumour has it he used to slip a demo tape on any pretty girl's tray - a lot better than fries with that, right?

Other enlightening stories concerning Daniel include the fact that during one of his spells in mental hospital he requested his manager to enquire about the possibilities of collaborating with Yoko Ono. Concurrently he also penned a song about the Mountain Dew soft drink (under the Pepsi conglomerate), offered his services as spokesman and claimed that it was his love of Mountain Dew that had left him institutionalised.

To introduce you to his work we've included an MP3 - Daniel wrote this jaunty toon about his time working under the Golden Arches. It's no classic so you might be better off having a listen to this old favourite, True Love Will Find You In The End...

A bad excuse to put up a picture of Audrey Hepburn...

2009-03-12T17:23:00.013Z

I wanted to ask my wife her honest view on sexist jokes....
but she was too busy doing the cooking,
Er, sexist jokes aren't funny, at least not that one. Sorry Audrey.

Boiled as an Owl,

2009-03-07T16:36:00.026Z

'Trolleyed', 'Boiled as an Owl', 'Sauced' and 'Shitfaced' are all common words for being intoxicated. Most decent, upstanding sorts keep the right side of the law and stick to imbibing alcoholic concoctions for their kicks, however we'd like to draw the worthy attention of you, our comely readers, to herbal teas.

Long have slogans such as "activating the body and strengthening the mind" been touted on the boxes of herbal teas. Some even make such rash promises as "a healthy and natural pleasure is guaranteed". We decided to see if it's possible to get muntered from a standard, off the supermarket shelf, herbal tea...

Starting the night slowly with a nice Twinings camomile tea proved to have little effect, so we soon switched to what we thought was the hard stuff, Tesco's own brand invigorating tea! Most of the people i live with will tell you that this tea smells a lot like old man's piss. These are the kinds of sacrifices we make.

Previously I would have imagined that if a parallel was to be drawn between the veritable smorgasbord of herbal teas on sale and the vast spectrum of illegals, this tasty tea would doubtlessly draw lateral comparisons with crystal meth. However after five cups I found myself let down and uninvigorated.

No matter how much tea was drunk, (and even if like a greedy boggle eyed raver two tea bags were "double dropped" into the same cup) no effect other than a full bladder was noted. Roobash.

Peanut Butter Pasta

2009-03-07T14:02:00.031Z

To some folks peanut butter pasta is a dish as delectable as foie gras from a particularly persistently force-fed goose or perhaps even a tenderly steamed lobster.

Myself, I'd like to meet every single one of these people and give them a sloppy kiss, but sadly they're extremely few and very far between...Without a shadow of a doubt peanut butter pasta would be my death row meal, my wedding meal and if i was Jewish (and it didn't contain pig meat..) the main feature of my Bar Mitzvah buffet.

Aside from these superlatives I would also like to note that the dish in question is a great barometer for potential sweethearts, i.e. if they don't love it, could you ever really love them? I've come to the recent conclusion it's questionable.

Firstly and most importantly I would recommend choosing your pasta in much the same way that the blonde lady in Kill Bill hunts down her samurai sword - it's pretty important. I favour wholewheat penne. Another important decision is whether you'd like the humble version, involving spam, or a slightly healthier version featuring ham. If you're going with spam it's best to fry it up first, if ham just chuck it in with the peas.

After this crucial meditation you should get the sauce base up and running. Essentially just empty a tin of chopped tomatoes into a saucepan on mid-heat and add a couple of big spoons of peanut butter (always, always, extra crunchy...) it's better to put too much peanut butter in than too little. If you're feeling posh add some herbs - thyme's good! And if you're feeling athletic add some peas, it's best to do this when the sauce goes a sort of orange-y brown...

When everything's done just dollop the sauce onto a mound of pasta. Toothsome!

Norwegian Cuisine!

2009-02-28T18:52:00.002Z

This Is Why You're Fat

2009-02-20T19:54:00.008Z

If I'm honest I don't really get it, but i think this blog's literally just all about pictures of epically gross food...

Particularly choice is the McNuggetini shown above or also a roast dinner involving packing 12 different bird carcasses into one meaty package - fowl/foul!?

Recession Cooking (Dig For Victory?)

2009-02-15T18:54:00.062Z

Much like the British government's WW2 Dig For Victory campaign (which turned out a nation eating a diet very similar to that now advised by diet nutritionists!), the credit crunch clearly has the potential to harness bad times to help our fair nation end up chowing down on a much healthier diet. We particularly like the fact this was deemed the 'Kitchen Front' in WW2...

Essentially the point is that frugality should encourage less extravagance in the eating and boozing departments. For example you'd hope to see sales of ready meals down and raw ingredients way up. This alone would be a good thing - ready meals are clearly rubbish and are also notoriously high in salt.

Sadly this doesn't seem to be the case and this is likely due to a drastic downturn in people who can actually, y'know, follow a few instructions and cook something. Fast food outlets like Domino's, Mccdonald's and KFC are currently raking it in.

The whole premise is, i guess, that if you can you can buy a bargain bucket of deep fried chicken to feed your family of four for a tenner, you're doing pretty well in the value for money department right? This is probably not a great thing, however, for a nation already supposed to be on a fast track to serious obesity problems - it's not so much 'kitchen front' as "hang on, is that a pillow down your front?" All in all quite a wasted opportunity...

On the business side of things the falling pound has at least a few plus points - usually cheap Argentinean, Brazilian and European meat has become less affordable and the credit crunch has made collateral to guarantee payments on these overseas meat shipments harder to come by. These factors are both pretty great for Britain's struggling livestock farmers. Probably offsetting these gains, however, is the pressure retailers have been heaping on farmers to drop their already (arguably) very low prices.

Furthermore on the subject of meat, we'd like to note that Offal could perhaps be the perfect answer to keeping carnivorous in these tough economic times! Market analyst Mintel is expecting sales of offal to reach a high of £62 million this year as one in five Briton's trade down to cheaper cuts of meat.

Who needs greasy deep fried chicken when there could be a Bath's Chap or some Faggots on your dinner table!? For all the offal layman out there that's a pig's cheek and a sort of scummy meat ball...

Palestinian Beans!

2009-02-06T17:19:00.016Z

In solidarity with our Palestinian brethren we thought we'd utilise the gigantic amount of traffic our blog receives (spot the vast over statement..) to help a good cause, the Disasters Emergency Committees "Gaza Crisis Appeal".

Unlike the BBC we figured we were canny enough to walk this metaphorical tightrope of controversiality whilst still avoiding that partisan problem so tricky in respected public service bodies such as ourselves and the Beeb. Mostly because this is a food blog, food had to be involved at some point, so here it is, an introduction to Palestinian cuisine - Ful medames...

Ful medames is often eaten at breakfast and involves Fava beans mashed up a bit and then slow cooked with olive oil, onion, garlic and lemon juice. As it's very filling some religious people like to eat it for breakfast on days when they have to fast between sunrise and sunset...we consider this cheating a little bit.

Mine came from a tin and tasted great with a bit of yogurt!

Give money to the Gaza crisis appeal.

marmite...

2009-01-12T22:24:00.019Z

A while back we conducted an investigation into a jar of special edition Guinness Marmite.

(see here for our thoughts)

If we were to extract the key point from this investigation, it was that Guinness Marmite was actually totally ace. As you could imagine, I was delighted to learn of a new type of Marmite:

Lovely. Its still very much Marmite, but this is a rather bourgeois relative, featuring a cheeky dash of champagne! Luxury combined with 1900s factory sludge - Yum.

On the nose, you get a lovely waft of bubbly champagne, combined with that distinctive yeasty aroma.

In the jar it appears as you would expect, dark brown and sticky.

In the mouth (obviously spread thinly on buttered toast), it presses all the right Marmite buttons, salty, savory goodness.

Premature perhaps, but the perfect gift for a loved one on February 14th?

It Ain't Coca Cola It's Rice (or a year in food production)

2009-01-12T22:24:00.018Z

“Let me tell you about your blood bamboo kid, It ain’t Coca Cola it’s rice” sings Joe Strummer on Straight To Hell, the M.I.A sampled Clash barnstormer. Essentially the lyric is from the position of the USA, addressing a kid from a foreign land who’s mum got banged up by a US soldier, explaining why there’s no chance of a visa to the ‘land of the free’.

That line struck a chord (geddit?), mainly because for me rice has always symbolised hunger or starvation or something along those lines. Roughly a fifth of all the calories consumed in the world today are rice and cultivation of this wonder crop takes up close to 11% of the Earth’s farmed land, so the idea’s pretty justified. Also, I always thought the juxtaposition of rice, this unstoppable edible force, with the Coca Cola brand was pretty swish.

But that’s a little off topic, I wanted this blog entry to look at 2008 in terms of what’s happened in food production – it was an eventful year. 2008 saw riots over food price rises kicking off from Africa to Asia. In Haiti things got so serious five people died in the ensuing carnage; there were even pasta protests in Italy…

Many factors were responsible for this steep rise in the costs of staple foods - biofuel crop targets set by the US and EU and the sky-high price of oil (at least in the first half of 08) being the most obvious. Increasing numbers of middle class in newly emerging economies such as China and India were also responsible – they creates a higher demand for red meat, which takes a lot of grain to produce and generally isn’t the most efficient use of cultivated land.

Money spent on research and development of new scientific initiatives in food production fell again too in 2008, as it has since the late 21st century, when developed countries, satisfied with unprecedented crop yields cut funding. This didn’t help matters either.

Another worrying move in 2008 saw countries like Madagascar, Sudan, Cambodia and Laos signing of hundreds of hectares of arable land to richer countries and corporations. Laos for example has now leased out 15% of its viable farmland. The main motivation in this buy out was worry about long-term food supplies, probably sparked by the sharp spike in food prices earlier in the year. The people losing out are likely to be the small farmers, especially those who don’t posses solid claims to the lands they farm as they may find themselves booted off. The UN Food and Agricultural commission has already raised fears of “neo-colonialism”. If the investors are unlucky the whole plan might not work out quite as they would like anyway. Land has always been a sensitive thing and it would be foolish not to expect some kind of hostility from the locals.

On a more positive note, however, Bill Gates is without a shadow of a doubt this blog’s hero of 2008. Two of the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundations initiatives last year were pretty damn important, not to mention trailblazing. Firstly he funded research into Ug99, a fungus with an unfortunate appetite for wiping out as much of Asia’s wheat harvest as it can. As mentioned above, governmental spending on agricultural R&D is ever decreasing, making it even more admirable funding came out of the chap’s own pocket.

Secondly the Purchase For Progress scheme (also set in place in 2008) looks set to achieve big things. One of the major flaws in US food aid (and the US is the world’s biggest food donor), is a stupid protectionist law stating that a minimum $1.5 billion worth of aid must be grown stateside and subsequently shipped to its destinations aboard US flagged vessels (which costs billions of dollars), meaning US aid donations are pretty inefficient.

Purchase For Progress looks set to help out nearly half a million (mostly) African farmers grow food for use by the UN World Food Program. Importantly this food should be redistributed on a local scale. Even better, instead of the crops being bought outright the majority of the cash will be reinvested in teaching better farming techniques and in helping with crop storage and transport. These are all major obstacles for farmers in undeveloped countries, many of whom find it hard enough to just feed themselves from their turf.

An Ale Advent Retrospective

2008-12-27T08:57:00.015Z

Now, as the ale advent calendar (and perhaps this blog's golden age) has become dusty history, it seems important to scan back through the last month and see if anything was learnt from the rigorous task of necking a beer a day. So I did, knowing full well that this could controversially and completely turn on a head that old and tired proverb of "not being able to find an answer at the bottom of a pint glass".

I can only speak for myself, but I have (and hate) to say I'm surprised to have learnt nothing. Nothing. Only that Adnams Broadside tasted best.

Happy Holidays!

22nd December - Christmas Slapper?

2008-12-23T11:09:00.013Z

My intentions of an alcohol free conclusion to 2008 came to a premature end last night; clearly countless parallels can be drawn between the futility of this exercise in frugality and the Christmas story as a whole.

A three day abstinence was broken with a Teignworthy Christmas Cracker Ale - judging by the picture of a well endowed but quite indecently dressed young lady on the beer tap, Christmas Slapper might be a more appropriate name. Her skirts probably don't always fall below the knee. The Ale, brewed locally to my Devon hometown, was more or less average - touted as having a long spicy finish, it really just tasted a bit watery.

two non ale-advent related links.

2008-12-20T02:14:00.010Z

I have to say I like a good apple pie as much as the next man (or woman), but probably not as much as this man - "Pie has historically been the democratic dessert of the common man in the United States." is just a brief extract from the article.

Talking of taking food a bit (too) seriously, here's a link to a food blog probably 79 billion times cooler than this one, a Japanese music lover who likes to construct famous album covers from food -
http://jakeben.blog111.fc2.com/

19th December, Do You Have Soul?

2008-12-20T01:45:00.006Z

Today I sampled a Northern Soul themed Ale. In line with ale aficionado Steve Watkins judgement on themed ales this one was quite far from swish. About as far from swish as Robert Mugabe is from anything close to reality. Tasting quite burnt and not in a homely way, it's not a pint i could recommend. Pertaining to other events of the day, this Ale Advent correspondent's days are through - no more drinking for me before New Years thank you very much...

16th December, Can Real Ale Ever Be Sexy?

2008-12-16T11:43:00.002Z

Discussed (admittedly seven years ago) over at the BBC...

Sunday, 14th December

2008-12-16T11:36:00.009Z

Steve Watkins, a seasoned ale man, offers this advice on the Ex-Mass ale, available at certain Fallowfield, Manchester based drinking holes;
"Christmas themed ales, I think usually it's fair to say they're a gimmick and don't offer anything much - sometimes you can chance upon a tasty one though.."

Marstons Old Empire - 12th December

2008-12-15T20:04:00.002Z

A little behind on posting this one, no matter.

Good Beer. Fearsome strength - 5.7%. Good hoppy tastes, lovely colour. Rich, vibrant colours. Inspiring stuff. Malty, caramel aromas. Very pleasant. Boozy boozy, tasty beer.

13th December, Old Speckled Hen

2008-12-13T21:55:00.014Z

Did you know that Old Speckled Hen ale was named after a 1920s MG car? Neither did I.

also, a hen related joke...
Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

SARAH PALIN: I'm not really qualified to answer that question [wink], but I can assure Joe six-pack [wink] and all the hockey moms [wink] out there that I know what really matters to them [wink]. Incidentally [wink], I can see a road from my house, so I must be qualified to cross it...

Top Dollar Blues, 11th December

2008-12-13T21:50:00.004Z

mmmm Leffe...

Tuesday Triumphs

2008-12-10T00:34:00.008Z

Tuesday night, perfect weather for boozing. I'm playing catch up. Both Sunday and Monday passed without any Advent beers.

1. Starting things off quietly with McKenna's Porter from Marble Beers Ltd. An excellent start. Dark, coffee tasting beer. Subtle flavours - a winner for first pint choice. Drinkability - Its not one to drink many of. Good December beer - made mostly from peat, coal, and logs.

2. Bearskinful - Bear Town Brewery.

Excellent beer. Dangerously easy to drink - a winner for prolonged boozing. Good clean aftertaste.

3. Franziskaner Hefe-Weissbier. (Below are the pouring instructions)

I am a massive fan of bananas. This beer does what Golden Glory does not. It brings soft fruit to the drinking table. Subtle, banana tastes, creamy soft textures. Best beer of the evening..

Big up your tankards,

wheelbarrowman

A beerless Monday 8th...

2008-12-09T16:19:00.020Z

I don't think either of us met the challenge of drinking a beer tonight. Instead we're going to write a bit about George Plantagenet, the renowned first Duke of Clarence. He played an important role in the war of the roses, but we don't want to talk about that - we want to talk about his death!

On trial for treason and imprisoned in the Tower of London he was believed to have been privately executed on the 18th February 1478 by being drowned in a butt of Malmsey wine! And all by request. By keeping clear of the standard and obligatory beheading George Plantagenet showed he had style by the keg load. He'd clearly have loved our beer advent calender; infact it wouldn't even be a stretch to call him the patron saint of this blog...

Soulful Christmas Tree, Sunday 7th

2008-12-09T15:30:00.025Z

Adnams Broadside tastes a lot like bottled christmas - it's as fruity and complex as the mind of James Brown (who incidentally released this gem of a christmas album). Thanks for the bitches and weed, estate of James Brown!

Anyway, treading the path of anything other than subtle fruitiness is always a danger for an ale, see Golden Glory below, however the Broadside avoids that catastrophic synthetic vibe to cook up something entirely new and most delicious.

and here's a cut from Mr Dynamite himself's christmas record...

Saturday, 6th December

2008-12-06T22:19:00.006Z

A crisp, dry day calls for a complementing choice on the beer front.

In an attempt to draw a line under the disappointment of yesterday, I have selected 'Golden Glory', one of the Badger ales from Hall and Woodhouse. Winner of the Tesco Beer Challenge, and also winner of the Beer and Cider category at the Quality Food and Drink Awards. Clearly a beer of high regard.

The 500 ml bottle of 4.5% vol. beer from Dorset is certainly fruity. Its not one I'd like to drink many of. Very sweet. The Label displays a 'Peach & Melon Aroma'. I'm no fruit-shy apple dodger, however, this particular smell seems so artificial it's actually disconcerting. It reminds me of chemistry lessons on Esters. I'd give this particular bottle a score of 4/11. Smooth, and drinkable, but not what I'd call 'the one'.

Friday Night, Wild Goose

2008-12-06T21:26:00.002Z

Friday evening; I headed off in search of a top notch ale. A wide selection was presented before me, I plumped for the Wild Goose. The pump label had the Purity brewery markings, although a subsequent search of the web has provided little evidence of a wild goose. Prophetic perhaps.

Moving on, the wild goose turned out to be (in my eyes) a poor choice. Dirty goose would have been a little more apt. All I can really remember of it was an upsetting lingering sensation on the tongue. All in all, avoid.

I look forward to my next advent selection in the hope of a better result.

Beer For Breakfast

2008-12-04T21:38:00.003Z

Some people say Jesus was a smelly hippy. Mostly they're bitter types and moan "hey why am i called dirty hippy today, but a dirty hippy from 2,000 years ago is called the savior." Not us. We love Jesus like the brother we never had. And we want to celebrate his birthday properly. Our first problem was the sheer hypocrisy of the advent calendar cartel which exists in this country. Where is the choice? It's chocolate or it's pictures if you're lucky; Jesus! This is despite the fact that if there was any chocolate around in our saviors time it would definitely have melted in that sweltering middle-eastern sun. Given that they hadn't invented fridges by then, and also given that Columbus didn't encounter chocolate till 1502 AD, the cliched chocolate advent calendar is really just a bullshit cop-out.

We have a better idea. Discussed here is a scholarly account of whether Jesus did drink beer. We know he did. Instead we're going to drink a different beer every day from the 1st December to the 24th. If it goes well we're gonna do the same for chipolata sausages and Hanukkah...

In The Beginning...

Monday night; A swift pint of Jekyll's Gold, by Hydes a local Manchester brewer. It's amber in colour and nutty in taste. A good beginning. Also, a little on the decision to concentrate on ales for the run up to the messiah being squeezed out - it's simple, they're more christmassy.

Tuesday night boozing; Kodiak Gold, from the Beartown Brewery. A light, crisp beer. Nicely thirst quenching. Ideal for the midweek...

3rd December; Packing a nice and warming 5.6% Theakston Old Peculier provided a metaphorical hot water bottle for a very cold Manchester night. Tasty too!

4th December; well well if we're truthful the 4th began with a Carling, but the less said about that the better - besides, we like to think of Carling more as water than beer anyway (and not in the sense it's essential for mankind's existence...) We pushed on with a pint of IPA, a beer brewed to be exported for ex-pats in the days of the Indian Raj. If this beer's anything to go by post colonialism tastes pretty sweet!

I EAT SEA CREATURES. WHOLE

2007-05-01T21:06:00.000+01:00

whole and partial octopi. yum!

Ploughman's meets Le Parkour

2007-05-01T20:11:00.000+01:00

Founder of Le Parkour David Belle has stated that the spirit of Parkour is guided in part by notions of "escape" and "reach" and indeed it is used by many to reclaim staid urban spaces as their own in an unconventional manner.

Taking inspiration from the notions above, we wanted to radicalise and reclaim bread from its perfunctory role. To begin with we needed good bread; good bread comes in many forms and is hard to come by. We wanted bread, that metaphorically was equivalent to a juicily dangerous railing, or perilous wall. This bread came to us in the form of a walnut loaf.

The fact that bread is a staple food of virtually every civilisation to grace this earth in some ways symbolises human existence. Existentially, perhaps the fact bread rarely escapes it's sandwhich straightjacket means far more than you or i could judge. We took bread to task. We wanted to reaquaint the word bread with the word delicacy.

We roasted peppers, mushrooms and thinly sliced chilli. Our walnut bread was drizzled with olive oil, and crushed garlic was sprinkled on top. A remarkable salad dressing was created by mixing balsamic vinegar, olive oil, mustard, honey and basil. Drawing on an old english classic, the ploughman's lunch, the meal was served in a DIY fashion, with goats cheese at the side of the plate. Parkour showed itself in our breads bilateral dissection and our unwillingness in joining the two disparate sections together.

An Interview With a Food Facist

2007-03-20T16:34:00.000Z

This man claims to be a culinary genius, he has extremely strongly held beliefs about all aspects of food. Lamb? 'too fatty', Bananas? 'disgusting', Pears? 'what's wrong with the skin', Granary Bread? 'the texture's all wrong'. We aim to expose his dark heart.

In three words describe yourself?
Egg Fried Rice!

Favourite nosh?
egg fried rice.

Culinary pet hates?
Vegetables - I like organic vegetables! Which is why i don't usually buy them. I don't know where any good food markets are round here. I don't buy from supermarkets it's just not good quality.

What would you define as good quality my boy?
Good quality is nicely ripened. Good flavour. Seasonal. Not flown in from feckin India where it's hot all the time. Good quality food!

Have you heard of master-chef Jeremy La Varara-Medlock-Smith?
He was on the Louis Theroux special last week right?

If you could only have a fork, a knife or a spoon, which would you choose?
A spork?
Sorry not allowed...
Well a knife then. Clearly. A weapon and an eating implement. I could literally kill two birds with one stone.
(followed by manic laughter)

Finally, would you say 'no' to a baby seal pancake?
On principle I would. Yes definitely. I am, however, a bit of a food tourist and as they say, when in Rome, or in this case Toronto do as the Canooks would. A baby seal pancake is satisfying, filling and healthy! Especially if you've seen it's poor clubbed brain splatter onto your shoe. Revenge is sweet. Yes Yes.

Thanks for your time and questionable views food facist, goodbye!

Disclaimer, at the very most 10% of this interview was actually said in real life and not in my head...

Old Skool Pork Chops with Apply Sauce

2007-03-20T15:25:00.000Z

BRAPPPP!
Eazy, we iz takin it Pork Chops.
Back to the Old Skool. Revisiting times gone past. Like our mama used to make back in da Bronx, respect.

We pimped some police meat from the mall.
Was asking what our bro behind the meat counter was packing, and checking and wreckin' his recommendation we went with the pig. We also some got some phat apples, and the king of all subterranean vegetation (potatoes), word up to the tuba crew!

Whilst we was workin on the potatoes, ma homie got on tha grind with the apple sauce. Apples was peeled and sauced with cinnamon, Bling Bling. Courgette were lightly cooked like the bones of our enemies. The pork was grilled, everything was sorted, on da plate, word...

written by guest writer
Jeremy La Varara-Medlock-Smith

Guinness Marmite, What's the point?

2007-03-10T17:18:00.010Z

Guinness Marmite is hard to get hold of. That much is true. If you’re not paying upwards of 6 quid on ebay for it, you probably know something we don’t.
But is it a gimmick? Is it just the evil capitalists at Marmite cashing in on a pure and beautiful, and until now unspoilt holiday (St Patrick’s day)? Or is it a worthwhile addition to the Marmite family? We aimed to discover the truth, with two detailed scientific experiments…

Test One – Appearance

Equipment

None

Method

We perused both Guinness Marmite and Original Marmite, looking for differences in characteristics such as viscosity and colour.

Discussion

Well, Guinness Marmite definitely seemed a different consistency to Original. It was way runnier…

Test Two – Taste

Equipment

Toaster
Knife
Plate

Method

One plain slice of white bread was toasted for precisely 60 seconds, immediately margarine was spread upon the bread, followed by a thin coating of Marmite

Discussion

Guinness Marmite again this time seemed markedly different. Whilst being smoother, it was also creamier, and could perhaps be said to have a subtler flavour. So there it is, Guinness Marmite ain't no gimmick.

Shrove Wednesday?

2007-02-24T12:49:00.001Z

Sadly both of us missed cooking up some pancakes on Shrove Tuesday because of crucial prior engagements, so basically we re-arranged Pancake Day for Wednesday. Fearing divine intervention through our lax attitudes to Christian religious holidays and our embracement of Chinese New Year, we had the savvy idea of providing an appropriate feast for the gods.

Like the Holy Trinity of The Father, The Son and The Holy Ghost our offering was to entail three separate entities. The feast was to begin with a double savoury course and then climax in a sweet banana flavoured sticky mess.

Pancake One

Finely chopped bacon
Gruyere Cheese
Shitake Mushrooms
Baby Spinach and Rocket

We began by frying the mushrooms and bacon together and whence this was completed we placed the pan to once side and grated the Gruyere cheese into a separate bowl.

The pancakes were fried normally then flipped over. Centrally to the cooked side of the pancake we added the bacon, then the rocket and spinach and finally Gruyere cheese. When the secondary pancake side was cooked, we folded the pancake over to create a pancake worthy of mighty Ghanesh himself.

Pancake Two

Smoked Salmon
Lemon
Crem Fraishe
Ground Black Pepper

Lemon and black pepper were key ingredients for this offering, which we felt symbolised both hope and our remorse at missing Shrove Tuesday. We felt chives may have helped both the flavour, and the symbolisation of remorse (Obviously not hope!), however they weren’t in stock at Tesco…

For this pancake we pretty much just made a normal pancake and when it was done cooking added some Crem Fraishe, smoked salmon, a bit of lemon and a shake of pepper.

Pancake Three

Rum
Banana
Canadian Maple Syrup (preferably from Québec, although Ontarian syrup will do)

For the climatic and most crucial moment of our meal, we knew we had to pull something special out of our metaphorical hat to appease the gods, and I believe we did. The bananas and rum were added to the pancake batter pre-frying, and when done Maple syrup was lightly drizzled over the pancakes to astounding effect.

postscript - no one has been smited yet...

Nian Gao - Chinese New Year Cake

2007-02-15T12:02:00.000Z

With Chinese New Year almost upon us, we decided to embrace our Chinese brethren and make a traditional Chinese New Year Cake, ‘Nian Gao’. The mighty search dragon Google provided us with a plethora of recipes to choose from. Traditional chinese recipes involve hours of steaming followed by frying individual slices. Intimidated we pussied out and went for the baked option, which we believe to be a crucial mistake; we had started with an intrinsically flawed recipe.

We scoured the supermarkets in Chinatown to find the appropriate ingredients, with Azuki ‘red’ beans seeming to be almost as elusive as the green prawns described in a previous recipe. A kind, charitable lady shopping in Woo Sang's pointed us in the right direction. Furnished with a £0.70 bag of of dried azuki beans, some glutinous rice flour, sugar and baking powder, we returned home triumphant.

We set to work - the red beans needed to be simmered for at least an hour in sugar and water, to make a red bean 'paste' and to be frank, this was another big mistake, red bean paste (readily available in most Chinese Supermarkets), would have saved us a lot of time. Whilst I gave the beans a good pasting, my colleague started work on the batter...

For the batter we began by whisking, with a fork, (unfortunately, neither of us count a whisk amongst our possesions), the egg whites for what seemed like pretty much enough time for the next Chinese New Year to roll by. With this arduous task completed, with sore hands and wrists (but triumphant hearts and souls), we slowly added the glutinous rice flour, the milk, sugar and baking powder to the egg whites. With this our batter was complete.

Unfortunately, whilst our bean paste ended up looking rather pro - and tasted good, the batter ended up looked much more like Yorkshire pudding batter than anything oriental. The cake too, when finished, had more than a hint of England's finest battered dish about it...we, however, blame the wack recipe...

Wagon Wheels, as much fun as when you were 8?

2007-02-15T10:52:00.000Z

I remember when I was eight; a Wagon Wheel in my lunch box used to basically make my day. They were slightly more exotic than the obligatory penguin, a little bit more interesting than a twix. I guess Wagon Wheel nostalgia is the same for a lot of people round my age…So, are they as good at nineteen as they were way back when?

To begin with, I want to state that I didn’t want to diss the wagon wheel in this blog. Really, I didn’t, it feels like chucking out your childhood toys or kicking an old much-loved family pet; but being completely honest they’re just plain rubbish.

For starters I’d like to know where the jam went? It definitely wasn’t in the wagon wheel I bought ...the marshmallow filling kind of tasted plastic-y and the wafer and chocolate wasn’t much better. All in all, it just tasted, well, tasteless.

The only thing that seems like an improvement eleven years on, I guess, was the rather dubious double entendre of a slogan “you’ve got to grin to get it in” printed on the front of the pack; that definitely seemed a helluva lot funnier…

Green Prawn, Chilli Risotto

2007-02-12T13:02:00.000Z

To provide inspiration from a lacking collection of ingredients, we pretty much just use google. It’s simple; got a crab, some leeks and a couple of eggs, type it all into the said, awe-inspiringly powerful search engine (thanks for the crystal meth and the hookers google!) and in less than a second you can find a recipe for some kind of weird shit quiche.

That’s how we got the idea for a Green Prawn, Chilli Risotto. Little were we to know the super-human effort required in tracking down green prawns in Manchester (our hometown). To be honest neither of us, I think, yet knows what the fuck a green prawn is? I mean, are they green? Where would you get one from, even if they do exist?...We tried Arndale fish-market to no luck.

Our search brought us to China town, where instead, we purchased a mix bag of all kinds of stuff from the bottom of the sea – it included whole Octopi! Very Tasty. There weren’t any green prawns in this veritable grab bag of Marine Biology however. So I guess it’s a lie calling it a Green Prawn Risotto…

When we got back from our quest it was time to kick off with the cooking, we sliced up all the carrots, celery, picked the crabsticks outta the seafood mix and cut up a red onion. We basically fried up the onion and celery and carrots in one saucepan, and got started with the risotto rice in another.

Once the carrots etc. had been appropriately cooked up we added some tinned plum tomatoes, water, chilli flakes and cumin seeds to the vegetable mix. Here’s where the worries started to set in, the sauce just looked far too watery for a risotto - We were lucky and it boiled off in time, it also kind of got soaked up by the risotto rice.

When the rice was just about done we chucked it in with the Vegetable mix, added our eclectic bag of seafood and gradually stirred in some grated Parmesan. Oh and we garnished it with a few sprigs of Coriander. The end product? Let’s just say if this risotto was a record it would be Pet Sounds, if it was a film Casablanca…

2007-02-11T20:56:00.000Z

Once upon a time there was a young man called Edward who lived by himself with a great amount of dignity. He had so much dignity that when he made his solitary evening meal he garnished it with a jaunty sprig of parsley. That's how he thought the parsley looked: jaunty. Jaunty and dignified. He also made sure he promptly washed and dried his dishes after completing his solitary evening meal. Only lonely people didn't take pride in their dinners and in their washing up, and Edward held it as a point of honour that while he had no need for people in his life, he was not going to be lonely. Life might not be much fun, mind you, but it seemed to have fewer people in to irritate him.

Generation X
Douglas Copeland